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The Voices

Ooh, this one is SPECIAL. A *huge* personal favorite. A horror movie that plays like a comedy, this movie occupies the strange spot in my cinematic pantheon where I think most people put "The Big Lebowski" in theirs, and not just because both movies involve bowling alleys.

Schizophrenic guy (played by a youngish Ryan Reynolds, who I didn't know at the time, and happily was still an actual actor and had not yet gone full-tilt into ironic Manic Pixie Dream Guy persona) hallucinates and goes off the deep end. The twist is, most of the movie is shown from his point of view, to the extent that we see his filth-strewn apartment as clean and tidy, the pink forklifts at his factory job perform ballet, his animals talk to him as a matter of course, and as his victims pile up, their severed heads remain lifelike, cheery, and friendly to…

Movie Reviews

I Am Not A Serial Killer

Fairly enjoyable little picture, actually. In a small midwestern town, a young teenage sociopath with his killer urges under control struggles to be normal until he discovers an older man (Christopher Lloyd in a deadly serious turn) is a serial killer and tries to stop him. Light on violence or horror and with only a totally unexpected phantasmagoric turn at the very end, plays for the most part like a drama. I kinda liked it.

Movie Reviews

Landmine Goes Click

Torture porn. Kid gets stuck standing on a landline in a foreign country, local tortures his girl in front of him. Just when you think it’s over, it kicks into overdrive as the kid gets his revenge in even more brutal fashion. Actually pretty well made for what it is, the acting is solid, but especially brutal, keeps outdoing itself. That's not a good thing. I don't know why some people enjoy brutality enough that people make these kinds of movies.

Movie Reviews

Some Kind Of Hate

Starts off pretty cool, as a gorgeous bullied kid attacks his gorgeous bully and then the title appears suddenly over a freeze-frame, then degenerates to some sort of silly nonsense about a ghost haunting the rural troubled youth camp where she was bullied to death, which can for some reason cause any injury to her to be reflected onto someone else.

Movie Reviews

Unit 13

Another strange, utterly cheap-looking film that looks like it was filmed on an iPhone and is basically utter shite, with virtually no plot, one set, or character depth. A bunch of people are chased around an underground storage facility by an unexplained monster for an hour and a half and either disappear withpout explanation, are killed, or are "possessed" and become evil without explanation. And yet, somehow, it manages to be consistently pretty tense and scary. Good date movie. I counted my blessings, though: after all, this could've been shot as a first-person found footage film. I actually might watch this again.

Movie Reviews

Road Kill

Sort of typical of how Hulu has a lot of horror movies that are not necessarily that good, but nonetheless interesting. Despite the cliched title, a fairly original spin on the "things go wrong for vacationers on the road out in desolate area" thriller genre, as 4 australians kids in the outback encounter a really bad truck. What looks like it's going to be a slasher film doesn't become one, as there's no slasher. Never-quite-explained supernatural hijinx ensue.

Movie Reviews » "Found Footage" crap

Creep 2

Mark Duplass as a convincing narcissistic serial killer in this first person shooter, a sequel to a film I could swear I saw but don't seem to have reviewed. This is essentially two really good actors in a zero-budget self-indulgent vanity project that's far, far beneath them. (And, seriously, only two actors: a few other people appear in the first 5 minutes of the film, but after that, the entire rest of the movie is only 2 people.) A serial killer hires a videographer to make a documentary about him. She explicitly disregards the red flags (and tells the camera she's doing so, in case we don't notice) and basically goads him on, on the flimsy excuse that she's looking for views for her web series. Eh. Slightly better than such low-production-value efforts usual are, but not worth a second view.