Well, I guess if they had called it "American Horror Story season 10: Ratchet" nobody would have watched it, because they would have known to expect this.

extremely decent, gritty prison noir. Tall, square-jawed, hypermasculine accountant kills a friend in a DUI, hypermasculine tough-as-nails prison gangmembers turn him into a hardened criminal and he climbs the ranks…

English film. Girl hired to be caretaker for invalid at dark, scary haunted house runs around dark, scary house being scared of ghosts. Not bad for that.

Madeline Brewer (OITNB, Handmaid's Tale, Cam) seems to only pick somehow above-average, if not great, projects. This movie about a hiker stumbling on a couple of rednecks living in the…

Surprisingly alright buddy road trip pick that isn't really the stupid slapstick comedy it looks like it's going to be. Episodic slice of life as pair of travelers are thrown…

Jake Gyllenhaal as a guy who discovers an actor who looks just like him. They seduce each other's partners, then one of the women turns into a giant spider. Not…

Kyle McLachlan actually turns in a kind of intense performance in the most contrived drama I've ever seen. In a town where everybody is apparently always as big a dick…

This starts with a premise that could go either way: a group of teens go to find a teacher who disappeared into a cave, to discover time flows differently inside…

Decent drama/thriller starring Bradley Cooper as a down-on-his-luck writer who gets access to a drug that allows him to use 100% of his brain capacity, and his subsequent business and…

Death as entertainment. Dee Wallace in what looks like an interesting, quirky setup — a family full of characters gathers in a rural house for Christmas when the monstrous son…

Surprisingly entertaining spoof retelling of Watergate scandal, based around the supposition that "Deep Throat" was two 15-year-old girls.

okay Aussie haunted house tale. Three researchers in an empty house tape recording things that go bump in the night. Pretty slow to get where it's going, doesn't aim high,…

"Jurassic Park", except with zombies instead of dinosaurs, as things go wrong for a group of gorgeous tourists at a resort where you can go on safari to kill the…

Kind of like "Weeds", except instead of being the gorgeous family of an unlikely suburban pot dealer, it's the gorgeous family of an unlikely suburban zombie. Other than that, pretty…

Adequate direction saves this overwrought, poorly-thought out, nonsensical attempt at a thriller from being a complete crapfest. Instead it's just mostly a crapfest. Jim Carrey is actually alright at keeping…

Inventive anthology. Lots of creepy unexplained shit, and Maria Olsen playing it straight for once. Fun, pretty original, I liked it.

this entry in the already crowded “gorgeous lone female cop works the last desk shift at a haunted police station before it closes for good" genre features a gorgeous lone…

A Black Crowes album to Texas Chainsaw's "Exile On Main St." Not "Amorica", either, although perhaps their second best one.

Saw this movie a few days ago and I have already forgotten it.

Of course the lone hick has tunnels and a torture dungeon under his junkyard trailer. Kids planning the next columbine cross paths with him to a post-punk soundtrack. Stylish enough,…

One of those pictures that keeps latter-day John Cusack working. A post-AI-apocalype adventure aimed at the pre-Hunger Games set, as well as probably a paltry stab at a franchise or…

Woman returns to her hometown where everybody acts creepy, because, movie. Also a demented ice cream man drives around randomly killing people because, movie. Sucked.

what neo-noir is when made by people who don't realize that neo-noir is about relationships, not just torture porn with some obligatory criminal double-crosses and complications to serve as background…

High-concept picture in which terminally ill people can, in the near future, clone themselves to ease their family's suffering—but, if they turn out not to be terminally ill, must duel…

Less-charismatic Ed Helms stand-in Nat Faxon and my former celebrity crush Judy Greer make marriage look absolutely unbearable and totally unrewarding, plus cure me of my celebrity crush on Judy…

Irish film. Crew on a fishing boat battles an infection of seamonster-borne parasites. Not bad, these sorts of things can be done alright, especially if they're done far away from…