Starts off pretty cool, as a gorgeous bullied kid attacks his gorgeous bully and then the title appears suddenly over a freeze-frame, then degenerates to some sort of silly nonsense about a ghost haunting the rural troubled youth camp where she was bullied to death, which can for some reason cause any injury to her to be reflected onto someone else.
Another strange, utterly cheap-looking film that looks like it was filmed on an iPhone and is basically utter shite, with virtually no plot, one set, or character depth. A bunch of people are chased around an underground storage facility by an unexplained monster for an hour and a half and either disappear withpout explanation, are killed, or are "possessed" and become evil without explanation. And yet, somehow, it manages to be consistently pretty tense and scary. Good date movie. I counted my blessings, though: after all, this could've been shot as a first-person found footage film. I actually might watch this again.
Sort of typical of how Hulu has a lot of horror movies that are not necessarily that good, but nonetheless interesting. Despite the cliched title, a fairly original spin on the "things go wrong for vacationers on the road out in desolate area" thriller genre, as 4 australians kids in the outback encounter a really bad truck. What looks like it's going to be a slasher film doesn't become one, as there's no slasher. Never-quite-explained supernatural hijinx ensue.
First person shooter. Zero budget, almost a home movie, except for the last 10 minutes, which they apparently spent the whole budget on. Kids running for their lives from people possessed by alien bugs for no particular reason.
An orthodox Jew who's left the strict denomination is asked to sit vigil overnight in the Brooklyn home of a deceased congregant, in keeping with orthodox tradition. There's a demon in the house and/or he may be hallucinating badly. Quiet and moody enough to be engaging for the first half, especially some of the vague shots of maybe-there's-something-there-and-maybe-there-isn't in the dark, but it wears thin, feels like something I've ultimately seen before. Interesting to see a horror movie that's half in Yiddish, though. Also, decent lo-fi minimal synth score.
Totally improbable family takes refuge in a bathroom during a thunderstorm and improbably becomes trapped, as more and more improbable things happen. I don't think I've ever seen a movie that wanted more badly to be a great movie, or that required a greater suspension of disbelief. Dad acts like a psycho, because, movie. Son gets bit by a snake, because, movie. Daughter reaches her hand outside bathroom door (somehow blocked by a tree) and is assaulted, manages to grab her assailant's tongue and rip it out with her bare hands, family improbably decides to eat the improbably still-squirming tongue, then does so as if it's no big deal. I don't usually go for camp but this is so perfectly bad, with such hammy overacting, and overwrought, nonsensical reactions and character decisions, that it almost is entertaining to watch. A really spectacular car crash.
Well, I wondered what a horror movie with Jeff Goldblum and Alicia Silverstone might be like. This seems like a TV movie. A near-death experience psychically links Goldblum with teen serial killer played by a young Jeremy Sisto. Silverstone sulks and does not much else. Eventually a supernatural element is introduced involving what probably looked like hella cool CGI effects in 1995, but I'd long lost interest by then.
Charming pic based on a tale from the Decameron. Medeival nunnery with Aubrey Plaza, that little girl from Garfunkel & Oates, Alison Brie, John C. Reilly all dressed in medieval garb but acting like modern people. Better than hearing about that kind of cliched irony might lead you to believe. Could have gone either way, but, really pretty fun. I liked it.
Sort of like what you'd get if you hired David Lynch to do an afterschool special. Seemed like an ordinary teen drama, but got weird and mannered. There's a plot, but it doesn't matter. Also a bunch of musical numbers consisting of dirgelike choral versions of 80s pop crap, which I totally could have done without. "I'll Melt With You" is really totally fine as it is, thanks, you're not going to improve on it. Actually stayed just off-kilter enough for just long enough that it was mildly entertaining, despite seeming so try-hard.
Strange, seems like a BBC production. Someone described it as "The Goonies meets Silent Hill", which seems about right. Campy and melodramatic, kind of feels like the '70s Dr Who to me, in the ways that it strangely just somehow didn't grab me.
Actually, not a bad teen screamer, in some ways, although I do wish the trend of naming horror movies by coming up with a "horror" adjective that has nothing to do with the plot would stop. Visiting his dad in a resort town on a lake for the summer, a teen suspects his neighbor is possessed by a witch that makes people forget their small children, and then eats them. One of those movies that seems like it might have been made from a Young Adult novel, but, among the definitely best and most well-made of them. Some effective horror direction & cinematography and decent effects & creature design do the trick. Netflix reposted it and I got tricked into watching it again because it had been a while, and I didn't regret it, and wound up watching the whole thing.
Another Hulu "Into The Dark" installment. Murder porn. Four Twenty-something high school friends have a reunion in their old house for New Years, when old grudges resurface and things turn murderous. You know the drill. Actually not bad for what it is, among the better-made of the series.
What promises to be a total crap thriller about a young girl being pursued by a supernatural force after a "Bloody Mary"-type teenagers-foolishly-test-a-superstition-that-turns-out-to-be-true incident actually turns out to be a pretty decent, well-made supernatural thriller. Maybe it has something to do with being a British film. I'm starting to get the impression that Katee Sakhoff has some basic standards as to what she'll appear in... I don't believe I've ever seen her in something that wasn't at least alright.
contrived set piece in which a young, insecure couple agrees to stay in an empty white room for 50 days for $5,000,000. Guess whether they last or not. Hint: in act 1, they wake up and suddenly a gun is in there, which they kick under the bed. Actually, I kinda liked it for the frenetic performances. Reminded me a little bit of Jim Henson's psychedelic pre-Muppets "Room", except, instead of a psychedelia, it has Ashley Greene's boobs.
Imagine a supernatural thriller starring Julianne Moore as a psychiatrist, and a single mother with a young daughter, investigating a strange case. This is exactly the movie you're imagining.
Ensemble "comedy" (in only the loosest sense of the word) in which a family gathers for an intervention on the belief that a son is smoking crystal meth. Proves that even a remarkable assemblage of modern comedy royalty can't save an effort that doesn't bother to ever aspire to rise above "nutty" cliches and trite, predictable emotional touch points. Strictly formulaic and never funny. Seems to have been written by marketers, or maybe by an AI. Not a hint of inspiration anywhere in here.
This unbearably self-consciously "quirky" movie about a nondescript mattress salesman seems to lie somewhere on the line between "Napoleon Dynamite" and "Slackers". It desperately wants to be a "cult favorite". "Quirky" characters speak in non-sequiturs, give overwrought philosophical answers to questions like "how does your day look?", and name-drop obscure celebrities in conversations that go absolutely nowhere. And that's just the first 20 minutes, because after that I assumed the title was honest and gave the rest of the movie a miss. I bet it was filmed in Austin.
Three douchebags sneak into a closed state park to go hunting, where they are terrorized and hunted down by what turns out to be a couple of suburban kids who are in a closed state park terrorizing and hunting down people because, without them doing that, there wouldn't be any movie, now, would there.
Give these guys an 'A' for effort in this messy tale centering on two independently sick gorgeous women who meet through a support group for grieving parents. A strong director and good acting fail to save yet another "crime drama" that seems to present sickness, in and of itself, as entertainment, relying primarily on "plot twists" rather than "plot", including lead characters suddenly changing personality in what I assume is supposed to be a shocking "reveal" but instead just seems overly contrived. This one deserves credit for making the opposite mistake of most films like it: it spares the violence, and takes over 2 hours to tell a fairly thin wisp of a story, trying to draw it out as a drama rather than relying on shock as most movies of this sort do. And scene-by-scene, it's far better made than many films like it. It doesn't drag that much.…
Note: due to a wordpress plugin glitch, this movie's title may be truncated. It's "The Girl With All The Gifts"
Kind of a new take on some tired old zombie tropes. This starts off reeeeeeally dull for a while but eventually picks up nicely. It's one of those British horror films that tries to actually be a good movie rather than just going for scares, and by and large it works. It's got pretty much the first new ideas of any sort in the genre since "28 Days Later", which it builds on thematically with its infected-humans-standing-in-for-living-dead trope.
If "Night Of The Living Dead" is the Beatles of zombie movies, and "28 Days Later" is the Rolling Stones, this is the Faces at their best. (And, by the way, continuing the metaphor, "Dawn Of The Dead" is Paul McCartney & Wings at their peak, and the obscure 1964 Vincent…
DV-shot, slick production values, sitcom quality acting and writing, very faintly entertaining mess about hikers who encounter a UFO or something.
Good luck finding this movie, but it's well worth seeking out. Another one I can't understand why isn't considered a cult classic. Abducted girl and family vs serial killer who hasn't got things quite as under control as he thinks... I can say no more. Twisted, hilarious, gory, and uniquely bizarre. Stars Illyanna Douglas, Daniel Stern, and Kevin Pollak, which should give you a general idea of the caliber. Love it.
Seriously tense drama turns thriller as a new age dinner party gets weird, after old friends suddenly make contact several years after disappearing to join a cult.
This is one of those movies that seems like it was originally written as a play, which is something that I always tend to like, when it's done competently. Here, it works really well, although if I have any complaint it's that the story builds emotional unease so capably and steadily, that by the time it turns from emotional to physical brutality, it almost breaks the tension. It feels very emotionally authentic as the unease builds. Fucking creepy new agers. (I do have mixed feelings about transplanting the "no cellphone reception out here" trope to the city, although they do pretty much pull it off.)
It's seriously well cast, fairly original, well done all around. Good ending, too. And the closing song rips…
A personal favorite. I'm really surprised by the low audience score for this film. It's definitely not your usual horror movie, and if you're in it for scares, gore, or action (of which there is little, little, and almost none, respectively), you're going to be disappointed. This ain't "Saw". It's just as much a coming-of-age family drama as it is a horror film, and it's got as much heart as an afterschool special. In theory, that could go either way, but in this case, it's so well put-together, and ticks along so smoothly, that it adds up to as very satisfying and rather unique, if homespun and small-scale, film. It doesn't aspire to be more than it is, it just tells a good and original story with near-complete economy and a skill that belies its overall amateurish production values. If a horror classic such as "The Shining" is a banquet,…
Interesting sci-fi entry about a dinner party suddenly caught in a vortex of parallel universes. It's so embarrassing when you can't tell if your dinner guests are still the same people from your own dimension that you invited.
Low-key but thought-provoking enough to be a fun view. Nobody will ever call this a great movie, but the story is pretty different, and it's kind of a low-key personal favorite of mine, for sure.
The Final Girl kills the maniac. Set on an Irish Farm. I didn't pay much attention to it.
Something about english girls and UFOs. Kind of slid past my brain. Possibly the lowest production values of any movie I've seen. I think these girls were like, "What do you want to do this weekend?" "Hey, let's make a movie!" "Great idea! I'll go to the art supply store and get some stuf!" Seriously. Doesn't appear to be lit or edited, just kind of shot as-is in the house where they were.
Listen, horror movie directors: people wandering around the woods at night getting freaked out by sounds (or, worse, by thinking they hear sounds, which you don't even hear) is A.) not a plot, and, B.) it's been done. Blair Witch did it, they did it better than you, it can't be repeated. Stop it.
Another dreadful, zero budget first-person shooter where so little happens that it seems like they retroactively decided to film some non-first-person footage of police reviewing the "found footage" to see what happened to instersperse the non-action with, which still doesn't save the complete absence of plot.
Kids camp out at a remote cabin, see someone camping nearby who they hit & run earlier, and decided to go to his campsite in the middle of the night to apologize. Except, even more boring than that sounds.
Mostly just kids walking through the woods at…
Fairly mediocre woodlands pursuit pic. Bachelor party on a camping trip in the woods when someone starts shooting at them. They run. The shooter keeps shooting. For another 90 minutes.
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