13/13/13
One of those movies that look like someone with no experience and no budget said "Let's make a horror movie", and yet, somehow, they got it onto my streaming feed.…
Latest "Movie Reviews" files
13/13/13
The Maid’s Room
What starts off like a cheezy tv movie slowly turns into a very decent hitchcockian thriller. An illegal immigrant maid hired by a family in the Hamptons suspects the son…
Adrift
couple sailing across the pacific wind up adrift for a month and a half. Considering how much I usually like these kinds of survival stories, meh. Somehow this one didn't…
The Dark Tapes
As a horror movie fan, you have to learn to stomach bad movies and look for the good in them, because there are a lot of bad horror movies out…
Within
In the genre of "family moves into a home without knowing there's someone living inside the walls" thrillers, this one is easily forgettable. The problem isn't that it's bad, but…
Smile
Terrible horror movie. Like a teen scream, except stars adults. A doctor sees a deranged patient kill herself in front of her, inherits a curse that makes random jump scares…
Humpday
I am really surprised I liked this movie, it has all the hallmarks of things I don't like, being a single-camera handheld exploration of middle-class sexual mores. But, typical of…
Legion
"The Prophecy", or some similar horseshit. Plot, just so I remember not to watch this again, is: God decides to wipe out mankind and sends the heavenly host to wipe…
Fractured
Well-made but very cliched "The Lady Vanishes" plot-twisty thriller. Gorgeous man takes gorgeous wife and injured daughter to hospital during a road trip, returns to pick them up later and…
Limitless
Decent drama/thriller starring Bradley Cooper as a down-on-his-luck writer who gets access to a drug that allows him to use 100% of his brain capacity, and his subsequent business and…
Red Christmas
Death as entertainment. Dee Wallace in what looks like an interesting, quirky setup — a family full of characters gathers in a rural house for Christmas when the monstrous son…
Between The Trees
For a shitty, poorly-written, poorly-acted "to-dimensional he-man hunters besieged by rednecks and/or monsters at a cabin in the remote woods" flick, actually, not that bad. It's paced and shot like…
No Escape
Intolerable YouTube star goes to participate in an Escape Room in Russia. I enjoyed this movie way more than I had any reason to. It had so many of the…
In The Flesh
Holy cow. Highly original and typically British take on the zombie genre — but played as completely as a drama, not horror or action. Takes place after a cure has…
Super Dark Times
What a disappointment. Starts off beautifully, and initially is one of the most cinematically realistic portrayals of ordinary teenagers I think I've seen, up until the point where roughhousing with…
Good Satan
irreverent, deeply irreligious low-budget spoof about a bumbling Satan, yes, *that* Satan, trying to scheme his way back into heaven. Kind of charming and funny. Guaranteed to offend the devout.…
Insidious
One of my favorite horror movies. Just very well-directed. Actually scared me at points. I will say no more. EDIT: I will say more. This was directed by James Wan,…
13 Cameras
Middling thriller about a young couple who rents a house from a landlord who has cameras all over it and a soundproof cell in the basement.
The Descent
If you're reading this list and haven't seen "The Descent", just go see it. A classic in my book. A bunch of women on a caving expedition when things get…
Here Alone
Woman survives intrigue and lust in the woods in post-zombie-apocalyptic drama with almost no zombies. Drama, not a horror film. Pretty good actually.
Tucker And Dale vs. Evil
Comedy. Hilarious satire of the "evil rednecks massacre gorgeous kids in the woods" genre, told from the actually good-hearted rednecks' point of view.