Would You Rather
[submitted to IMDB] I don't know if I've ever given a movie just a single star before. But this is easily the single worst movie I've ever seen. I wish…
Latest "Movie Reviews" files
Would You Rather
Saint Maud
A contender for the most boring movie I've ever watched. Religious girl works as a hospice nurse, mostly just wanders around. Sometimes wanders around hallucinating, sometimes wanders around picking up…
Empire (series)
This is kind of a masterpiece of crap television. First off, the cast is stellar, the acting is superb. Beyond that? Garbage. I expected a drama, but this is straight…
The Evil In Us
Kids camping on an island snort coke with a virus that temporarily turns them into zombies. Meanwhile, in an underground facility, the drug is tested by a mysterious sciencey guy.…
Sea Fever
Irish film. Crew on a fishing boat battles an infection of seamonster-borne parasites. Not bad, these sorts of things can be done alright, especially if they're done far away from…
The Assistant
Anyone who has ever worked a dreadfully dull, bottom-rung office Admin Assistant job for uncaring, disrespectful employers will already be familiar with this movie, and ask themselves why they relived…
2001 Maniacs
sometimes it's a fine line between great and terrible, and this remake (of a 1964 film I haven't scene) does the rare job of staying on the right side of…
Body At Brighton Rock
Wow, talk about a flawed gem. Young park ranger gets lost in the woods, finds a body, has to sit tight until morning waiting for rescue. For the first 20…
Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell [tv series]
Ok, I love this show. I think this is a comedy central thing, they're like 10 or 15 minute videos, but they present a version of hell as a cubicle…
Barbarians
Did we really need another movie like this? Uncomfortable dinner in the English countryside between two young couples with an obvious uncomfortable history gets increasingly uncomfortable until, in a stunningly…
Flight 7500
Decent enough haunted plane movie. Takes forever to get going. Guy dies mysteriously on a plane, and haunted hell brakes loose. Lots of fridge logic but creepy enough in the…
47 Meters Down
Basically, "Open Water" but on the ocean floor instead of the surface, and without Open Water's hints of artistry, but it's still well done enough to pass muster if this…
#Alive
It's getting tough to do a fresh take on the zombie outbreak picture, but this Korean film does an alright job. The slightly low, non-Netflix-TV-episode-quality production values are really the…
Deviant Love
Movie-of-the-week level thriller about a woman whose protective new boyfriend turns out to be her deranged cousin trying to have her for himself. Oops, gave away the ending. Now you…
Blood Hunters
Gorgeous single mother wakes up in a remote abandoned medical facility with no memory of how she got there or how she became pregnant. Monsters a la "The Descent" menace…
Proxy
Give these guys an 'A' for effort in this messy tale centering on two independently sick gorgeous women who meet through a support group for grieving parents. A strong director…
The Snare
Ok, now we're talking. There's something distinctly Kubrickian about this quiet, low-budget indie flick about three people who sneak into a penthouse apartment only to become trapped over the winter…
The Boy
Lauren Cohan stars as a gorgeous nanny hired by an elderly english couple in a remote mansion to care for what she thinks is their son but turns out to…
They Look Like People
Brooklyn guy takes in old friend who turns out to be a raving lunatic who thinks humans are turning into demons, thinks his girlfriend is giving him orders over the…
The Lobster
Promising but ultimately disappointing future dystopian black comedy with a slight Clockwork Orange artifice and sterility to the production. Single people are sent to a hotel to either hook up…
House Hunting
Decent supernatural thriller with Mr. No-Nonsense, Art La Fleur. Two families are lured to look at a house out in the woods, arrive to nearly hit a young girl in…
Open Water
I will always love this movie. Most people hate it. Almost no plot: Annoying yuppie couple get accidentally left behind out on the open ocean while on a scuba diving…
Snowpiercer
Humanity's survivors speed around a frozen globe in a train, get lost in class warfare and survival issues. Distinctive, quality, underrated, memorable sci-fi. An instant classic in my book.
Bad Behavior
I like it. A very decent captivity/desperation film about a schizophrenic teenager keeping his siblings and babysitter captive in the bathroom while their parents are away.
The Inside
[originally reviewed on IMDB at https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3321049/?ref_=tturv_perm_8] I just got blown away by this movie. Yes, by conventional film standards, it sucks: almost no story, no narrative arc, almost no dialog…
Prey
fairly mediocre woods pursuit pic. Bachelor party on a comping trip in the woods when someone starts shooting at them. They run. The shooter keeps shooting. For another 90 minutes.
We Have To Do Something
Totally improbable family takes refuge in a bathroom during a thunderstorm and improbably becomes trapped, as more and more improbable things happen. I don't think I've ever seen a movie…
Spell
ok supernatural horror thriller about a wealthy city guy imprisoned in a farmhouse by a elderly farm couple dabbling in the occult when his private plane goes down on their…
Crimes Of The Future
I found myself wondering after the first 15 minutes, "Who is this Cronenberg wannabe?" Turned out, it's Cronenberg, in "Crash"/"ExistenZ"-style disappearing-up-his-own-ass mode. It was beautiful but meh. I've been a…
The Shrink
Another exercise in tinseltown omphaloskepsis. This one was ok, I guess. Kevin Spacey as a shrink with worse problems than his patients.