Lights Out
very decent creature design, a few genuine momentary scares, and a focus on my personal phobia of the dark (yep, it's true) were not enough to keep my interest in…
Latest "Movie Reviews" files
Lights Out
Derek Delgaudio – In & Of Itself
Had no idea what this was going into it. Listed as a 'documentary', what starts off seeming like one of the best one-man shows I've ever seen basically turns into…
V/H/S 2
another vaguely quasi-entertaining "V/H/S" film. I will say that save for Blair Witch this may be the only first-person-shooter where it didn't grate on me within the first 15 minutes.…
Pyewacket
Another successful zero-budget Canadian horror outing of the kind that should, by all rights, have sucked, except that Canadians seems somehow good at making these little horror movies pretty effective.…
The Purge
Anarchy: "Escape From New York" with less charisma.
The Prodigy
Taylor Schilling's kid speaks Hungarian in his sleep. He's possessed by the soul of a psychopathic murderer out to claim the final victim who got away. That is all. Taylor…
Death House
I'm generally not a fan of "so bad it's good" films, but, my god. Except for the White Zombie-sounding tracks in the otherwise analog synth soundtrack, this 2017 film is…
The Immaculate Room
contrived set piece in which a young, insecure couple agrees to stay in an empty white room for 50 days for $5,000,000. Guess whether they last or not. Hint: in…
6 Souls
Imagine a supernatural thriller starring Julianne Moore as a psychiatrist, and a single mother with a young daughter, investigating a strange case. This is exactly the movie you're imagining.
The Amazing Johnathan Documentary
Starts out as a documentary about a complicated performer, and turns into a documentary about the complications of making a documentary about a complicated performer. Good, and the events that…
Vile
The definition of "torture porn". Literally no plot except for: a bunch of people are held prisoner and promised to be released if they torture each other, so they do.…
Eaters Of The Dead
Zero-budget camcorder-shot amateur garbage. Why is this kind of stuff on Amazon Prime? Apparently somebody's home movie about society-wide cannibalism after a nuclear apocalypse, if that matters. Even worse, it…
Desolation
Captivity/pursuit flick. Mother and son pursued through the woods by a silent, murderous Dave Grohl for no reason. I'd run too.
Tragedy Girls
An interesting setup, as two gorgeous high school girls obsessed with social media fame trap a serial killer in hopes of learning to commit murders so they can cover them…
The Collection
"Saw", but with over-the-top Hollywood excess rather than the British restraint that made it good. Very stylish, I'll give it that, like a music video.
The Fifth Kind
The Blair Witch Project with UFOs. Painful.
The Last Rampage
I have always found Robert Patrick to be an acquired taste, and I suppose I've acquired it. He does a little more acting than usual in this true crime thriller,…
Altergeist
Haunted winery turns out to be something more as gorgeous ghost hunters get picked off. Why did previous owners kill themselves by stabbing themselves in the stomach? Starts out as…
Dead Weight
zombie road picture plays like a missing episode of Walking Dead, from one of the good seasons.
Blood Lands
gorgeous English couple buys Scotland farmhouse, so locals put on pig masks and chase them around it with axes, because, obviously, movie.
The Poltergeist of Borley Forest
you know, for a poorly acted, no budget, poorly written, completely amateurish zero budget effort, this winds up being a halfway decent ghost story. The leads are charming and give…
Howl
Captivity werewolf flick, but sort of a cut above, a little. People trapped on a derailed train in the English countryside in a new take on the werewolf tale from…
Charlotte
anthology seemingly aimed at 12-year-olds. A babysitter is held captive by a creepy doll and forced to watch terrible horror vingettes.
Reservation Dogs [tv series]
A personal favorite. How are more people not talking about this? Sensitive, well-written, and dryly absurd magical realist character study of the lives of a couple of kids and the…
The Ice Cream Truck
Woman returns to her hometown where everybody acts creepy, because, movie. Also a demented ice cream man drives around randomly killing people because, movie. Sucked.
The Curse
Sub-USA-Up-All-Night fare about a farm family that develops boils and goes insane after a meteor lands on their farm. Starring a pre-"Wil" Will Wheaton and a post-"Dukes" John Schneider, unrecognizable…
Paranormal Activity 4
Family that films every moment of their lives in POV for no apparent reason, when "scary" things start happening for no apparent reason.
Digging Up The Marrow
first person shooter, blech. Ray Wise, yea! Overall enjoyable enough for a bad first person shooter movie, mostly because of Wise, and decent creature design. A horror director is contacted…
Rent-A-Pal
Ok, not a great movie by any stretch, but deserves an honorable mention for being fairly original, clever, and darkly entertaining. Wil Wheaton fiiiinally earns my complete forgiveness for Wesley…
1BR
Here's a twist... A pretty crappy thriller that actually sucks until a pretty good twist ending. Young girl moves into an apartment complex in LA, where the neighbors turn out…