Fawn
They've got to stop making zero-budget first-person-shooter "found footage" crap about groups of 20-year-olds investigating some bullshit.
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Latest "Movie Reviews" files
Puzzlehead
This is a low-budget indie movie that should have been way worse than it was. In a dystopian urban future that visually resembles our dystopian urban present, a scientist invents…
Dark House
This has got to be a student film, and by a not very skilled student filmmaker. Less than an hour long, and utterly aimless, with no production values or acting…
The Quantum Terror
Bottom-of-the-barrel amateur-home-movie-level crap, but at least it tries to have a sci-fi angle. Or something. Basically these kids explore the sewer looking for a missing girl and encounter a bunch…
Dead Night
Movies like this exactly are why I created a category "Je nais se quois/Flawed Gems". Definitely not a great movie, but certainly original, after a fashion, and ultimately, I thought,…
Anonymous 616
Have you ever seen the movie "Funny Games"? It might be my least favorite movie of all time: pointless brutality, and nothing more, presented as entertainment, as home invaders torture…
Spiral
Well, this movie put one over on me. Starts off with a bunch of guys having a reunion for a bachelor party in a fancy rental house, which logically promised…
Pesadilla
I guess this is supposed to be some sort of indie neo-noir, because it starts with a robbery, and has people planning other robberies, and has people waving guns around…
Cupid’s Guillotine
Absolute garbage. Has the production values of a terrible zero-budget amateur horror combined with soap operatic melodrama. An engaged couple is lured into a haunted house attraction where the woman…
Fisher
Back in college, living out in the sticks, I used to occasionally listen to the local Christian rock station. Though the subject matter left me cold, I liked how the…
June (2015)
A 9-year-old foster kid is shunted from home to home because she's possessed by some sort of nature spirit bent on cleansing humanity from the world, who causes all kinds…
The Hollow Child
Decent enough horror movie about a foster child whose little sister disappears into the woods and comes back acting in disturbing ways. The town madwoman claims the child is no…
Cannibal Mukbang
Well, this movie certainly turned out to be something much different, and much better, than I expected. That's not to say it was a *good* movie... it definitely doesn't aspire…
Evil Under The Skin
Porn-movie-level acting, writing and production values. Mother and daughter go to an Oregon lake for some bonding time and, basically, nothing happens. Mom gets headaches, daughter (played by a real…
Night Things
Boy, you have to give this home-movie-level, bottom-of-the-barrel amateur production credit for trying. They really tried *hard* to make a good movie. They had absolutely no idea how to, and…
Jug Face
Southern supernatural drama/folk horror about a backwoods rural community that survives by making occasional human sacrifices to an alternately mud- and blood-filled pit that keeps them otherwise healthy in return,…
The Amityville Backrooms
This might be the most amateurish film I've ever seen. An utterly silly home-video-shot idea—I can't even call it a story, it's just an idea—about a realtor who suddenly gets…
Ladyworld
A somewhat artsy take on "Lord Of The Flies" in an isolated house full of eccentric young women, trapped there while attending a birthday party when an earthquake causes it…
Maggots
Kind of a fun D-grade zero-budget picture about a bunch of punk rockers camping in the woods when they get attacked by giant rubber maggots. Actually was kind of amusing…
The Nothing
I don't know what this movie is about because the first two minutes opened with the most egregious, clichéd first-person-shooter camerawork I've ever seen and I turned it off.
Do Not Open
This sequence of horror tropes—I can't really call it a movie—is odd in that it definitely is directed well. Individual scenes, if you saw them in isolation, seem creepy. But…
Diane (2023)
Absolutely awful pic (indie division). Shot alright, but the plot is incomprehensible... a couple moves into a new building where, after about an hour, it turns out, the building manager…
Influenza
This movie has all the warning signs—it's described as a "horror comedy", and the synopsis starts with "A group of social media influencers..."—so I knew what I was getting into.…
Bonehill Road
This is one of those movies that seems like someone who had never made a movie, or even ever known anything about making a movie, had a camera and just…
13th Child: Legend Of The Jersey Devil
What a weird movie. This movie has the fashions—and solid-state screaming guitar soundtrack—of a more recent picture but looks and feels totally like a 1976 made-for-TV monster movie. Some horseshit…
Ghosts Of The Void
Hmmmmmm. Tough to know what to do with this one. It might be the most deeply flawed of flawed gems. A captivity/pursuit flick that doesn't really have any captivity or…
The Alternate
Okay-ish sci-fi thriller about a videographer who discovers a portal to an alternate universe where his duplicate alternate self is living a much better life, and decides he wants that…
Double Vision (2020)
Godawful sub-"USA Up All Nite" garbage that seems to have been shot by amateurs with a home video camera and a knowledge of slasher film clichés (and, amusingly, video editing…
And Here No Devil Can Hurt You
This seems like a student film... decent at some things about filmmaking (occasionally striking visual images and framing), and totally seemingly oblivious to the need for others (decent writing, any…
A Serious Man
In adding my review of Fargo for no other reason than that I couldn't have a "favorite movies" section that didn't mention it, I discovered that I somehow left "A…