Tucker And Dale vs. Evil
Comedy. Hilarious satire of the "evil rednecks massacre gorgeous kids in the woods" genre, told from the actually good-hearted rednecks' point of view.
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Tucker And Dale vs. Evil
Hunter Hunter
Family of trappers living in the wilderness, Dad and daughter are into it, Mom's maybe getting tired of it, when a wolf starts raiding their trap line, and to say any more would spoil it. Rack up one more above-average flick for the Canadians. What starts off seeming like "wilderness family gets threatened by natural or unnatural monster" veers off into becoming a seriously dark backwoods noir that only very slowly builds to where it's going. It's far from perfect—sags in the middle a bit, and feels a little like something was left on the cutting room floor somehow—but, draws on Canada's apparently abundant pool of oddly engaging unknown actors, and manages to develop into something fairly original. Could be a low-key cult classic. By the very end, it tilts full-on into gore, but only at the very end, and by being somewhat demure up until that point—such as only…
Maggie (series)
The cloyingly overcute Rebecca Rittenhouse, far less effective playing a nice character than she was playing an intimidating gorgeous snob in The Mindy Project, as a convoluted, forced sitcom idea of a "psychic" who has to constantly deal (and force her friends to constantly deal) with "visions" which seem less like glimpses of the future and more like plot devices to drive dramatic developments. Never has such a good cast (Kerri Kenney Silver, Chris Elliot, Nichole Sakura nee Bloom) been so wasted on vacuous rom-com piffle.
Ride The Eagle
That charismatic guy who played Nick in "New Girl" stars pretty much by himself as a guy who has to complete a list of trivial tasks to inherit his mom's cabin (leave a nasty note for her boyfriend, call "the one who got away" and apologize, hike to her favorite spot). Which, if you find Nick from New Girl entertaining, is basically enough to justify a movie. Or, 2/3 of one, apparently, because finally they fall back on a boring, sentimental ending that seems to be there mostly because the movie did have to end at some point.
Dismissed
I'm halfway through this laughably implausible piece of shit. This movie takes itself sooooo seriously, all somber score and intense acting performances, as if it doesn't realize that a thriller about an evil mastermind high school student who apparently has the whole world cowering in terror before his evil mechinations to get straight A's would be totally absurd even if every scene didn't seem so thoroughly contrived and unrealistic. Like sure, a nice girl would act like a slut and try to come on to her teacher just because she was told by an evil genius classmate that the teacher was into her, and then, when the teacher absolutely rejects her, let the classmate dictate a love letter for her to give him that will change his mind which, just coincidentally, also happens to read exactly like a suicide note. Or, sure, a teachers wife would never, ever question why…
Fear Street, Part 1
1994: Imagine a slasher movie based on a series of popular teen novels. Ok, you've got it. Not bad for what it is, just _is_ what it is.
Sleepaway Camp
The USA-Up-All-Night-iest slasher flick ever. The rare movie that is so trashy I kinda liked it for being so bad. That doesn't happen to me much. (edit: apparently this is some sort of cult favorite that I've never heard of because I generally have no interest in trashy movies.)
Pyewacket
Another successful zero-budget Canadian horror outing of the kind that should, by all rights, have sucked, except that Canadians seems somehow good at making these little horror movies pretty effective. A disaffected teen living out in the woods with her mom summons a demon, chaos ensues. Decent acting from no-name cast. I liked it. Will watch again.
The Purge
Anarchy: "Escape From New York" with less charisma.
The Fourth Kind
Milla Jovovich, who must be Hollywood's least charismatic leading lady, fronts a correspondingly leaden take on ufo abductions or some such nonsense, made worse by half the movie being pretend "documentary" footage, followed or often even split-screened with "dramatic recreations" of the same scene for no adequately explained reason.
Depraved
Unfortunate title aside, this little gem is "Frankenstein" retold as a modern hipster indie film, in the best possible way, without the least bit of irony, as a brilliant medic returns from the Iraq war with the medical secret to bringing the dead back to life, partnered with the amoral scion of a pharmaceutical fortune looking to market the dream drug, if he can just find a brain for his experiment...
If I had to forgot every single indie film I've ever seen except one, this might be the one to keep. A little campy, but for this story, it kinda has to be.
I don't know where they found the guy who played the monster, he was perfectly cast, in what should probably be remembered as one of the great monster movie performances, if only because he does a perfect job of what so few movie monsters…
American Carnage
Ridiculous, hamfisted, but a charismatic cast kind of save this ridiculous attempt at making a "Get Out" for Latinos. An emergency order results in the arrest of all children of illegal immigrants, with an offer to drop all charges if they help out for three months at a creepy senior center. It only gets more ridiculous and unbelievable from there.
I Am Mother
Robot "Mother" raises human "Daughter", the supposed last human, bred to repopulate the world following an unspecified apocalypse, until Hillary Swank stumbles in from outside. I give them credit for being able to maintain interest with a cast of just 3 characters, one of whom is a robot, but there was some fridge logic. It was enjoyable, and definitely big-budget and well-made. Still, nowhere near as good as "Ex Machina", although it seemed to want to be.
The One I Love
Give it points for originality... the Duplass brothers have managed to put out another unique film. A couple heads to a rural estate for what seems like it's going to be an excruciating (for the viewer) weekend of relationship dynamics, until they discover that, each time one of them enters the backyard guesthouse, they find it occupied by an idealized doppelganger of the other, and things continue to get pleasantly weird from there. Some unfortunate fridge logic and a few predictable turns and narrative lapses don't ruin it from being somewhat entertaining, and it certainly goes a few new places. I've got a thing for clone stories, having dated a few myslf, which probably helped give this one a leg up for me.
A.M.I.
Ripped from today's headlines! A virtual assistant begins acting like a (non-diegetically) weird-looking girl's mother, soon convincing to kill everyone who's done her wrong. Basically, this is like an after-school movie, except with lower production values, and a bloodier ending.
The Gate
Kind of suprised this isn't considered a "kids horror movie" classic, a la Goonies. 1980s kids horror movie, starts off sucking pretty bad for a good bit of its length but eventually goes so far over the top it lands in "so bad it's good" country. The special effects and creature are noticeably good for claymation.
Most Horrible Things (“Love Hurts”)
Terribly edited movie in which a dead ringer for Prince invites a bunch of gorgeous 20somethings to his mansion to smugly torture them psychologically into killing each other with his investigative knowledge of their pasts and incredible insight into their character flaws, driving them to murder, interspliced with clips of Prince's ensuing interrogation by gorgeous police detectives.
Cadaver
effective cinematography and performances save what could have been pretty middling. A norwegian film with voiceovers that manage not to be as distrating as overdubs usually are, in which a postapocalyptic millionnaire invites the starving public to his hotel for a show where layer upon layer of deception unfold. Could have gone either way, but I liked it.
In The Flesh
Holy cow. Highly original and typically British take on the zombie genre — but played as completely as a drama, not horror or action. Takes place after a cure has been found, as the first to be cured try to reintegrate into their families in a small English village. Very well done. Leave it to the BBC to find a way to bend the tropes of the zombie genre into a completely serious, adult, well-acted drama. If anything at all about that sentence sounds interesting to you, it's worth checking out.
Super Dark Times
What a disappointment. Starts off beautifully, and initially is one of the most cinematically realistic portrayals of ordinary teenagers I think I've seen, up until the point where roughhousing with a sword results in an accidental death. At that point I was still loving it and expecting to love it all the way through. Then what could have been an exploration of the aftermath basically goes nowhere, as the accidental killer starts killing others for no reason, until he gets caught, and the movie just ends. The realism holds up throughout, which is nice, but in terms of plot there's no there there. The body of the first victim is never even discovered, there's no conequences, no development, no reason given, nothing.
Good Satan
irreverent, deeply irreligious low-budget spoof about a bumbling Satan, yes, *that* Satan, trying to scheme his way back into heaven. Kind of charming and funny. Guaranteed to offend the devout. Avoid if you are offended by scenes of your preferred deity having gay sex.
Insidious
One of my favorite horror movies. Just very well-directed. Actually scared me at points. I will say no more.
EDIT: I will say more. This was directed by James Wan, who I later discovered, just plain has a talent for elevating his supernatural tales by seeding them liberally with just great, memorable individual horror scenes. This movie definitely has it's silly aspects, but even his far worse movies have individual scenes that are so well done they make the picture worth watching. The man just knows how to direct a horror movie, not a modern gorefest or jump-out-and-say-boo teen scream, but legitimate horror cinema in the tradition of the classics. And here he's at his best at that.
13 Cameras
Middling thriller about a young couple who rents a house from a landlord who has cameras all over it and a soundproof cell in the basement.
The Descent
If you're reading this list and haven't seen "The Descent", just go see it. A classic in my book. A bunch of women on a caving expedition when things get scary. Not a classic horror story, but a classic horror film and, I think, a rewarding movie-viewing experience. Very well-made by a director who understood that horror movies should be movies first and horror second. It does eventually lean a little more towards action/adventure/survival than towards plot/storytelling, which is often not my preference, but this is well-done enough to rise above my usual complaints about the category. (UPDATE: I have heard from some friends that they don't like this movie. I don't understand that.)
Here Alone
Woman survives intrigue and lust in the woods in post-zombie-apocalyptic drama with almost no zombies. Drama, not a horror film. Pretty good actually.
Long Weekend/Nature’s Grave
Here we have a rare beast: for Long Weekend, both the 1978 original and the 2008 remake starring Jim Cavaziel (distributed in America with the title "Nature's Grave") are both worth seeing. They're good in different ways. I might prefer the original but thanks to capable horror direction the remake has some memorably chilling moments.
Anyway, the story is the same in both: a crass suburban couple goes camping on a remote beach in Australia, and things just go wrong. To say more would spoil it. A big favorite of mine and a pretty one-of-a-kind film, in both versions.
I've since gotten the sense that the 1978 original of this isn't revered as a minor classic, but I'm not sure why. We live in a world where everybody has heard of "Last House On The Left" and "I Spit On Your Grave", both of which came out in the…
Possessor
Assassin takes over other people's bodies to kill her targets. Another small-but-satisfying Canadian sci fi thriller, well-cast with a bunch of no-name actors. David Cronenberg's son, and I called this one as Cronenberg-related without knowing I was right, although I wasn't sure, because this was a little better than Cronenberg Jr's last film. Still self-consciously strange, strangely retro, and with some brief unexpectedly gory scenes this time, but definitely showing some maturity and self-assurance that was missing last time. I liked it, and had one of those rare endings that I actually liked better after I thought about it for a minute... it wasn't a good enough film that a bad ending wouldn't have ruined the whole thing, but it was a good enough film that a good ending redeemed the whole thing. If Cronenberg Jr's next film is as much better than this as this was than his…
Silver Linings Playbook
This movie is weirder and more artificial than any sci-fi movie I've ever seen. I mean, it's not that I didn't like it, just, like, I'm supposed to want to watch a thing about these unrealistically charismatic, goodlooking "troubled" people, or a world where Jennifer Lawrence introduces herself to the worst bad-news guy by offering him no-strings-attached sex just for eyeballing her for a moment, and insists she hates football and then pulls out a whole season's worth of football stats just when it's needed to win over Robert DeNiro and advance the plot? Hollywood types playing "working class porn", with surprisingly effective grit, obviously meticulously fabricated by hollywood's premier grit fabricators. Totally well executed, well-acted bullshit, set in a world where nobody is just dumb or ugly, where even the background characters look like Julia Stiles. Reminds me of "Love Story" in that way. Does anybody really buy the…
Unsane
surprisingly not-actually-that-bad thriller about a thoroughly unlikeable woman committed against her will in an institution where one of the attendants may be her former stalker... or she may be insane. Decent acting saves a script full of fridge logic. Turns out, this was Steven Soderbergh, slumming it I guess.
Rust Creek
A girl's car breaks down on a rural backroad, and gets menaced by the locals, who chase her through the woods and hide her car... from there, though, instead of turning into a run-of-the mill pursuit/captivity flick, it turns out to be a very decent backwoods neo-noir thriller, somewhere between "Breaking Bad" and "Ozark". I liked it, much to my surprise, given the setup. I wondered what an apparent "woman gets victmized by the backwoods locals" flick was doing in Netflix's "Hidden Gems" section, but, turns out, even if it's not what I would necessarily call a "must see", it does belong there.