Long Weekend/Nature’s Grave
Here we have a rare beast: for Long Weekend, both the 1978 original and the 2008 remake starring Jim Cavaziel (distributed in America with the title "Nature's Grave") are both…
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Latest "Movie Reviews" files
What Keeps You Alive
Ok, slightly better than your average captivity/stalking in the back woods movie, but I don't know how much of that to chalk up to quality (usually totally lacking in this…
V/H/S Viral
Installment #3, which a much bigger special effects budget and largely used well. Most notable for the inclusion of the bizarre "Parallel Monsters", about a scientist who opens a doorway…
We Have Always Lived In The Castle
Kind of a Merchant-Ivory take on a horror story, supposedly, but by about the two-thirds point, there wasn't any horror, and in fact hardly more than a few minutes worth…
Creep 2
Mark Duplass as a convincing narcissistic serial killer in this first person shooter, a sequel to a film I could swear I saw but don't seem to have reviewed. This…
Silver Linings Playbook
This movie is weirder and more artificial than any sci-fi movie I've ever seen. I mean, it's not that I didn't like it, just, like, I'm supposed to want to…
Unsane
surprisingly not-actually-that-bad thriller about a thoroughly unlikeable woman committed against her will in an institution where one of the attendants may be her former stalker... or she may be insane.…
Rust Creek
A girl's car breaks down on a rural backroad, and gets menaced by the locals, who chase her through the woods and hide her car... from there, though, instead of…
Till Death
Megan Fox in what starts off looking like a disturbingly brutal captivity pic, as her husband decides to punish her for infidelity by driving her out to their remote lakehouse…
Rent-A-Pal
Ok, not a great movie by any stretch, but deserves an honorable mention for being fairly original, clever, and darkly entertaining. Wil Wheaton fiiiinally earns my complete forgiveness for Wesley…
1BR
Here's a twist... A pretty crappy thriller that actually sucks until a pretty good twist ending. Young girl moves into an apartment complex in LA, where the neighbors turn out…
31
Once again Rob Zombie shows that if he could write as well as he can direct, he'd be the horror equivalent of Quentin Tarantino. This movie is visually gorgeous in…
The Green Inferno
Eli Roth, once again showing his ability to waste his more than adequate filmmaking skills on torture porn the sake of nothing but torture porn, technically well-done but with nothing…
The Night House
Talk about a disappointment. For about 85% of its running length, this jump-out-and-say-boo ghost story about a young widow mourning her husband's recent suicide in the lake house he built…
Rattlesnake
TV-movie-quality throwaway flick about a woman whose daughter gets bit by a rattlesnake out in the desert, and is helped by a strange old woman in a nearby trailer which…
Eli
You know, this one wasn't bad. Like, you have some time to kill, you wanna watch a horror movie, there's nothing good on, this one is alright. Young "boy in…
#Alive
It's getting tough to do a fresh take on the zombie outbreak picture, but this Korean film does an alright job. The slightly low, non-Netflix-TV-episode-quality production values are really the…
Deviant Love
Movie-of-the-week level thriller about a woman whose protective new boyfriend turns out to be her deranged cousin trying to have her for himself. Oops, gave away the ending. Now you…
Hypothermia
Lance Hendriksen takes his family icefishing, unaware that a "creature from the black lagoon"-type obvious-and-clearly-shown-man-in-a-costume monster lurks below the surface, waiting to kill everyone up to and including Lance Hendriksen,…
No Escape
Intolerable YouTube star goes to participate in an Escape Room in Russia. I enjoyed this movie way more than I had any reason to. It had so many of the…
Colossal
Picture this: Cloverfield, except, half a world away, Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudeikis are in a romantic comedy, and it turns out that the giant monster is just duplicating their…
Backcountry
what looks like it's going to be a survival flick about a gorgeous couple lost in the woods pursued by a psycho slasher turns out to be a survival flick…
Contracted
A small film, but one I like. Woman contracts strange degenerative disease that causes her body to decay. One of those ones you can't say too much about without giving…
John Dies At The End
A critic called this "a very interesting failure", and that's about right. This time- and dimension-hopping adventure wants really badly to be a cult classic somewhere between "Donnie Darko" and…
A Vanishing On 7th St.
Darkness descends on the world in the form of an unexplained momentary global black out, during and after which everybody standing in a dark enough area spontaneously disappears from their…
Zombie Massacre
gorgeous, square jawed mercenaries be macho, occasionally face-off against zombies. More testosterone than any other zombie flick.
Plague
Australian woman survives intrigue and lust on abandoned farm in post-zombie-apocalyptic drama with even fewer zombies than Here Alone. Drama, not a horror film.
Overtime
This post-Tarantino crime drama-to-zombie alien horror flick-to-crime drama is as amateurish and crappy as it gets, total grade-Z, but miraculously is saved by the raw charisma of pretty much *everybody*…
The Sand
Starts off like it's going to be an unbearably annoying first-person shooter, but if you forward past the first 5 minutes it's not. Kids wake up hungover after a beach…