Time Was
Young woman decorating a house to flip it falls for her designer. LGBT romance movie turns out to be a supernatural Christmas movie.
The Pines Still Whisper
Turgid folk thriller. A paranoid, controlling woman and her daughter live in a remote cabin. Strangers show up with the same tattoo on their necks as the mother. Drama ensues.
Saw II
I thought the first Saw was interesting, not great but good. I lasted maybe 20 minutes of this. It's just violence as entertainment... like, essentially gladiator games, except, it's supposed…
Masking Threshold
I'm sure this seemed like a cool idea at the time—the inner dialogue of a delusional scientist tormented by sounds only he can hear, as he slowly goes insane and…
The Twisted Death Of A Lonely Madman
Overwrought indie pic, filmed in black and white for extra artsiness, about an agoraphobic man who sits around his apartment obsessing over an actress. Of course, he eventually kills someone…
Little Nicky
Adam Sandler—get this—talks in a stupid affected voice! Hilarious, right? Actually, if not for him, and the fortunately mostly very short cameos of every single painfully unfunny person from about…
Holmes & Watson
The still-inexplicably-famous Will Ferrell does his usual job of unfunnily hamming it up, in this case sucking the talent out of a pretty star-studded cast of extras in this period…
Spread (2024)
Reasonably agreeable redemptive comedy about a progressive woman who gets a job turning around a porn magazine. Lots of charismatic actors. I've spent worse 90 minute stretches in front of…
Oh, God
A very '70s movie that I remember from my childhood as a comedy—c'mon, it has George Burns as God, appearing to John Denver as a man picked to be his…
Rain Man
Other than Dustin Hoffman's tic-filled, fairly convincing performance as an autistic savant, there's really not as much here as I expected. The constant tics get old fast, and Tom Cruise's…
But I’m A Cheerleader
Cute coming-of-age LGBT comedy about a Christian girl, improbably played by a young Natasha Lyonne, being set to conversion therapy. Some stunt casting, with LGBT icons like Mink Stole and…
10/31
Pretty cheezy horror anthology film that looks like it was made in the 80s, complete with tediously familiar eurodisco synth soundtrack. Witches, slashers, an obvious Elvira ripoff, etc. Kind of…
Fear Itself (series)
Strangely boring horror anthology series. Well-made, and some of it started off seeming like it was going to be interesting, but, while it wasn't terrible, somehow it had a bit…
Night Visions (series)
Fairly watchable Canadian early 2000s Twilight Zone-type anthology. Lots of recognizable faces & reasonably respectable actors involved (David Paymer, Miguel Ferrera, Mare Winningham, a million more. That sort of caliber.)…
The Deeper You Dig
Take a fairly boring tale of a mother of a missing girl, the man who accidentally killed her, and the girl's ghost all being mildly annoying to each other in…
Men (2022)
English folk horror. Very well directed but ultimately gives up narrative in favor of phantasmagoria, for an ultimately unsatisfying watch. I firmly enjoyed this movie for about 2/3 of its…
Panic Button (2011)
High-concept, sub-par execution thriller is basically "Saw" on an airplane with a social media morality play spin. Four people are put on a private jet, ostensibly because they won a…
The McPherson Tape (aka “Alien Abduction”)
Despite my hatred for "found footage" horror films, my interest was piqued by see that this was a "found footage" film from 1989—predating ostensible genre inventor "The Blair Witch Project"…
Banshee Chapter
I have no idea how they got Katia Winter and Ted Levine (who, by the way, once personally scared the shit out of me in a real life encounter) for…
Janus (2024)
Bottom-of-the-barrel zero-budget indie sci-fi about a mad scientist who kidnaps people to clone them for some reason. Notable only for having a twist ending I saw coming about 30 minutes…
Match (2025)
A pretty pleasant surprise—a thoroughly derivative captivity/pursuit movie of the "trapped in an insane psycho's house" variety, about a young woman who is tricked into meeting someone via a dating…
Alien Legacy: Terror on Luxor Ridge
I'm 40 minutes into this completely amateur pile of shit and I have no idea what it's about. It appears to be a bunch of scenes of various English people…
All The Devil’s Aliens (“Devils in the Darkness”)
Let me say first that virtually any reasonable person will hate this movie. I can't decide if I like it myself. For a good part of it, I sure didn't.…
The Scopia Effect
A disjointed, stylized "artsy" film which seems to be about a woman who is experiencing the deaths of a bunch of people from different places and points in history, but…
Theta States
Sleepless man falls under the influence of a demon posing as a doctor who runs a sleep clinic. I have never seen a movie try harder to be a supernatural…
Moon
Decent enough sci-fi, well-made, despite the too-obvious influences of "2001: A Space Odyssey" and "Solaris". A lone worker on a moon base prepares to wrap up his 3-year stint there…
Bottle Monster
Alcohol single mother and young son movie into a new house and there are... things there. What a weird movie. Definitely an execrable, bottom-rung, amateur, poorly (really, not at all)…
Downhill
Mountain bikers go on a trip to Chile, and spend half the movie just being douchebags, then encounter the local criminal element and get victimized and pursued through the woods…
Dead Within: This Is What Remains
Couple stuck in a cabin surrounded by a zombie hoard. Gritty, intense production, which is nice, but other than that fairly run-of-the-mill.
Malignant
Just-slightly-better-than-mediocre horror thriller about a man who comes under the control of a mad scientist who tries to "help" him control his drinking by taking over his body and forcing…