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Writing » Anecdotal Evidence (True Stories) » Local Color: True Stories From Near And Far
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresAnecdotal Evidence

Local Color—Manhattan: New York Stories, Which I Only Now Realize Are All About Petty Crimes

Originally posted on my old site. I'd have called this "New York After Dark", but the souvlaki guy story happened in the middle of the afternoon.

Back in the '80s & early '90s New York City was much different than it is now. Filthy, violent, and the meat packing district was a not a place you went after dark. I used to jot down my day-to-day experiences there. I truthfully didn't realize, until I collected a few of them together on this page, how, uh, bad it was. (And I'll tell you what, these are the milder stories that are fit for public consumption and won't scare my mom if she reads this site. Take me out for a beer sometime and I'll tell you some real stories.)

Looking out for the homeless

After a night of shooting on a small movie I was doing sound…

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Creative Nonfiction Portfolio
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresAnecdotal Evidence

Local Color—Seattle: Irene & Sheri

This was originally posted on my old website, Life In A Mikeycosm.

Before you read this, I should warn you. This story contains one of the grossest things I've ever heard. By the end of the story, things improve and it winds up as one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me... but if you're at all sqeamish, if you're the sort of person who just can't watch some of David Cronenberg's best movies, you really might want to skip this one.

This is all true. I swear to you. This has not been exaggerated or distorted for the sake of a good narrative... no embellishment could supersede the actual events. Although, one change I made is to divide what happened into three acts, for narrative purposes. It didn't happen that way originally, it was just one thing and then another, one long…

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Creative Nonfiction Portfolio
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresReflectionsNocturnal Submissions

Reflective Prose: Day Nights

I gotta do something about them day nights.

I was just walking home from the store, bopping down the street at 11 PM, a time that I grew up believing was a sensible time to be in bed. 1 AM used to be alien terrain, exotic, strange. 2 AM—well, that might as well have been a million o'clock. It was like the furthest frontier. The night might have gone on forever beyond that, for all I knew, ending only when the last human had decided to go to bed before we could all wake up in the daylight again.

Nowadays the small hours of the morning are familiar to me. More than familiar—ordinary, 1 AM no more mysterious than 1 in the afternoon (and probably not as mysterious as 10 AM, a time I haven't seen in many months but that somehow still fails to hold a fascination for me.)…

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Writing » Anecdotal Evidence (True Stories) » Short Vignettes & Anecdotes
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresSelf-Portraits In Prose

Question of the day: When was the first time you noticed someone cheating at something?

A few years back, my friend Al Katkowski was something of a success with his "Question Of The Day" iphone app and subsequent book. This was a question from the book.

Question of the day: When was the first time you noticed someone cheating at something?

Actually, the first person I noticed cheating would be myself. I totally figured it out on my own before ever seeing anyone else do it. I think I got my first inkling when I was 4 and tried to tell my friend Stephen Axeman I was 4 1/2, not 4, because I thought it made me sound grownup. Somehow he knew I wasn't 4 1/2! So when I turned 4 1/2, I told him again, and he said, "Yes, today you are." I never found out how he knew exactly when my half-birthday was, but it was an epiphany that mysterious means…

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Writing » Topical Writing
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresOpinionsPop Culture Iconoclasm

Whom Rods Destroy: Speak To Me Not Of Picard, Nor Janeway — An Irascible Screed On Star Trek Fandom Fundamentals

Look; I'm a Star Trek fan. Don't talk to me about "Picard" or "Janeway" or "Archer" or whoever. Even the movies barely qualify as "Star Trek", and they have the original cast. I'm not talking about some chick flick where they spend more time talking about feelings than getting into swashbuckling adventures with fearsome aliens on what was supposed to be a routine planetary survey of Gamma Hydra II***. I saw an entire episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" where Picard lives a whole secondary life in which he did nothing but drink cosmopolitans and gossip with Charlotte and Miranda. I bet he's never even once been trapped in a cavern lit by creepy red and purple klieg lights and cloned against his will by a scientist who sacrificed his essential humanity when he transferred his mind into an eternal, physically perfect android body. So why would I want…

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Writing » Life In A Mikeycosm (Thoughts & Reflections)
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresLifestyleDealing With It AllLife In A Mikeycosm

Temporal Moronomy: The Contents Of The Rest Of The World’s Dream Do Not Concern Me (or, Why I’m Not Turning 40)

I originally wrote this essay shortly before my 40th birthday, after which I posted it on my blog and a number of other places.

December, 2008

For the record, I was born on Dec. 11, 1968. I turned 39 last year, on Dec. 11, 2007. I can't say I thought about it much, at least at first. But a month or two ticked by, and I thought of a number. The number 40. Just as I had thought of the number 40 on December 11th of ten years previous, in 1998, it having arisen unbidden following a brief consideration of the number 30.

Nine years before that I thought about the number 21, 18 three years before that, and five years earlier still, 13.

According to conventions of the religion I was born into, I became a man at 13, amidst much fanfare from my family.…

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Writing » Anecdotal Evidence (True Stories) » Local Color: True Stories From Near And Far
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresAnecdotal Evidence

Local Color—San Francisco: Tales From The Sidewalks Of San Francisco

An Afternoon At The Races, Unplanned

So, last night I was standing on Mission in South of Market with my phone out, trying to find a nearby hardware store, when off in the distance, maybe a block behind me, I thought I heard a voice yell, "Stop!"

My mind went off into a daydream for a second—what if there's a thief coming my way, and I get to trip him up? But wait—what if the "thief" is actually a victim in danger, being chased by a criminal, and I'd be helping the criminal by stopping him? What should I do? I didn't have time to think more than that, though, because from a half a block away, clearly now, I heard a panicked man's voice: "Stop!"

Now, I had my phone in one hand, which is chained to my belt, and my very heavy briefcase slung over my back, so…

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Writing » Topical Writing » Mikesplaining—My Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions

Time Flies Like Butter: Infrequently Asked Questions: What’s the best day of the week to take off if you work a 4 day 10 hour work day?

What's the best day of the week to take off if you work a 4 day 10 hour work day? -Jeannie F, Marin County, CA

Thursday. Trust me, being self-employed I've done a lot of experimenting.

The ideal 3-day workweek is easy: that's MWT — Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. It makes Monday easier, because you know you have the next day off. You arrive Wednesday feeling like it's Monday, except tomorrow is Thursday, which is Friday for you! Then, every week, you get a three day weekend to cap it off! It's ideal, and I recommend the MWT work schedule for everybody.

Working a 4-day workweek, especially 4 10-hour days, is more complicated. The entire dynamic changes. The ideal 4-day workweek is MTWF.

You have to think in terms of psychology: three 10 hour workdays in a row is easy to handle, it just feels like a heavy-duty, but abbreviated, 3-day…

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Home, News & Info » Site & Author Info » Site Content, Design, & Technology Info
Programming tricks used on this site
Posted inNews & Info Posted in genresGrody Technical Details

Under The Hood: Programming tricks used on this site

This is (or, will be) a meta-post listing all posts I've written about the techniques used to create this site.

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Visual Art » "Petit Art": Odds & Ends
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Posted inNews & Info Posted in genresSite Images Overview

Site Design Overview: Featured Images Gallery

Since they're not always clearly displayed on the front page or in every post, for convenience, this is an automated scrape of all original "featured images" (the background or front page image for a post) on the site.

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Home, News & Info » Site & Author Info » Site Content, Design, & Technology Info
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Posted inNews & Info Posted in genresGrody Technical Details

Administrivia: Site Content, Design, & Technical IAQs

An early viewer asked some questions about the art I use on my site, so I thought I would put together a page of Q&A about the site and the materials on it.

Who are you, now?

I'm Mike Kupietz. You can be forgiven for not knowing who I am. Although I do have to admit I privately hoped I'd make more of a splash. I'm a musician, artist, and by day a FileMaker consultant and web developer based, strictly due to an accident of fate, in San Francisco.

Where did you get _____ image? / Did you do all this art?

Mostly all the images on this site are my own art. There are a few public domain images on this site. As of this writing the images I didn't create are:
- the poo emoji on the BS…

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Creative Nonfiction Portfolio
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresMemoirs & Reflections

Essay-Length Memoir: Ars Moriendi—Haley’s Epitaph

Disclaimer, 2023

Having come a long way from the days related herein, I thought for a while before reposting this 26-year-old piece of writing, originally posted on my old website.

I think it has merit as a piece of my own writing and as a remembrance of someone I liked and cared about, despite how difficult he sometimes made it. But now that I'm doing things online under my real name, I do have to stop occasionally and think twice about how some of the less conventional anecdotes from my youth might be misinterpreted. I lead a very quiet life nowadays, but when you do business with people, sometimes you find yourself in an unwanted relationship with someone who loves dirt, reasonable or not, and you'll get painted as a bad guy by certain of those people only because they feel it may profit them to do…

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Music & Sound » Misc. Pieces, Singles, & EPs
Yiki·dū·sō (A Dream) digital single by Mike Kupietz cover
Posted inMusic & Sounds Posted in genresElectronic MusicExperimental Music

Digital Single: Yiki·dū·sō (A Dream)

This digital 0", originally hosted on my Bandcamp page, contains a track that sat unfinished on my hard drive for far too long, now finally having had the burrs filed off and rough edges sanded down for safe general listening. It's an experimental techno sample manipulation exercise exploring the text of a meme video that went viral about 10 years ago.

I got some nice kudos for this piece when Intelligent Arts, an organization publishing ebooks on music and technology run by the late composer Joel Chadabe, an old mentor of mine, included it in a series of online articles on "Word Music / Text-Sound", the use of spoken words as a component in musical compositions, alongside pieces from luminaries such as Steve Reich and Kurt Schwitters.

Also included…

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Writing » Topical Writing » Reviews & Criticism
Fragrance Reviews
Posted inWriting Posted in genresReviewsOpinions

Review Compendium: Fragrance Reviews

Unbeknownst to anybody except Dan Sonenberg—in fact, practically unbeknownst to even myself—I occasionally write fragrance reviews. These are those. Some people enjoy them.

Those of you with the nose can find me on Fragrantica.

function toggleAll() {document.body.querySelectorAll('details').forEach((e) => {(e.hasAttribute('open'))?e.removeAttribute('open'):e.setAttribute('open',true);});}

Toggle all reviews open/closed
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Visual Art » Generative Illustrations
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Posted inImage Gallery Posted in genresAI Generative IllustrationUrban Surrealism

If You Don’t Live It, It Won’t Come Out Your Cone: Adoration Of The City

This is a series of generative art images I am paticularly fond of. Originally these were going to be part of my RobGAN Hitchcock project, but they kind of stand on their own. Created with Stable Diffusion.

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Creative Nonfiction Portfolio
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Posted inWriting Posted in genresMemoirs & Reflections

Essay-Length Memoir: “The Light Shone On Me”

Foreword:

For some reason, I've always been particularly moved by a sense of loss. It's the sole valuable observation I ever got from a kindly but not particularly effective therapist I saw for a while in my 30s, one of the few deep and profoundly true things about myself I hadn't already excavated on my own in my decades of frequent navel-gazing before that.

I've always written a lot—although I never considered myself a writer, so much as just someone who writes things down a lot—and in my 20s I had started occasionally writing longer essays, when I felt moved to. At a certain point, a few years after writing this one, I believe, I realized the longer pieces that I always felt were the most successful, the ones I had labored in love over and really eventually did manage to express what I had set out to…

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Home, News & Info » Site & Author Info
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Posted inNews & Info Posted in genresAbout This Site

My Whole Raison D'isaster: About This Site — An Introduction

Hey there! Thanks for visiting my online showcase. I'm Mr. Roarke, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

But seriously, folks...

I've had a personal website for about 20 years, as well as an ancient blog, neither of which ever got many reads. But I've had it in my head for a while to put together something a little nicer, as sort of a portfolio, something which could accommodate my longstanding habit of getting projects 98% finished, often almost presentable but for my perfectionist tendencies, before getting distracted by something else while the final work on them dragged out for years.

As a consequence of this habit, my hard drive has become a repository for tons of mostly-finished art, music, and writing that nobody ever sees, not to mention a bunch of work scattered across the internet under whatever alias it amused me to use at the time. Not…

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private » Programming Hacks Used In This Site
WordPress Custom “Hero Header” Modifications
Posted inCode & Algorithms Posted in genresWordpress CodingPHP

Used on this site: WordPress Custom “Hero Header” Modifications

This site uses the "Sinatra" free Wordpress theme as its base. Sinatra includes a single "Hero Header" the row of 3 animated featured posts on the home page which changes background images as you mouse over post titles within it.

I wanted this to be multi-row, a grid instead of just one row. The code natively contained an option to include up to 12 featured posts, which could easily be made to wrap around to new rows, but the problem was, the background of the entire section containing all rows changed when you moused over a post, not just the single row, and I wanted not just a row-by-row background, but I wanted potentially unlimited rows.

I moved the code that generates the rows into a function, and then called it repeatedly, once for each row I want. At some point I may make it automatically add as many rows…

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Visual Art » Generative Illustrations
New Userpic. No Specific Lyrical Reference; Just Very Appropriate General Generative Hitchcockiana, Produced Serendipitously By While Trying To Generate A Psychedelic Portrait Of Eugene Mirman Listening To Shufflmania.
Posted inImage Gallery Posted in genresAI Generative IllustrationIlluminated Lyrics

Giving It To A Soft Boy: RobGAN Hitchcock — AI-assisted lyrical illustrations

New Userpic. No Specific Lyrical Reference; Just Very Appropriate General Generative Hitchcockiana, Produced Serendipitously By While Trying To Generate A Psychedelic Portrait Of Eugene Mirman Listening To Shufflmania.For a while, I had a Twitter account, @robGANhitchock, where I was posting AI illustrations of Robyn Hitchcock lyrics I created using a Generative Adversarial Network ("GAN"). This was an interesting project, because when it started I knew next to nothing about generative art; as I worked on it I learned more about crafting prompts, and more and better tools emerged, so over the course of the full set, you can see the progression of experience and improved generative algorithms: from the first few in VQGAN, then FreewayML,…

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Code & Algorithms » Demo & Live Tool Playground
The Internet Bad Statements (“BS”) Detector
Posted inCode & Algorithms Posted in genresFact-CheckingLive ToolsWeb TechnologyPHP

Online Fact-Checking Tool: The Internet Bad Statements (“BS”) Detector

Here's a fairly old repost from my consulting site, where it got no traction whatsoever.

The Bad Statements Detector is a specialized search tool designed to aid in online research and to help prevent people from passing along nonsense on the internet, by making it easier to look stuff up on fact-checking websites like Snopes.com, Politifact, FactCheck.org, and other myth-busting websites all at once.

It works very simply: drag a “Detect BS” button to your bookmarks bar to create a "bookmarklet", a javascript bookmark that opens a tool when clicked. Then, while you surf the web, you can drag your mouse to select text on any web page and click your “Detect BS” bookmark link. This will return no-nonsense links from a multitude of reputable fact-checking and science websites that tell you if the statement you selected is well-known BS (plus offer you some sharing options right from the popup.)

…
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Writing » Topical Writing » Reviews & Criticism
Literally <strike>Hundreds of</strike> Like A Thousand Capsule Movie Reviews
Posted inWriting Posted in genresMovie Reviews

Review Compendium: Literally Hundreds of Like A Thousand Capsule Movie Reviews

If you don't want to read the introduction you can skip straight down to the reviews.

Introduction

A number of years ago I started jotting down summaries of movies I've watched, just to keep track of what I'd seen. As the years went by, the list grew, and occasionally (but not often) I was moved to write more, until finally I wound up with hundreds of them, mostly very short summaries but occasionally a little more in-depth for movies I particularly liked or loathed. There's a brief section of favorites and honorable mentions, then below that they're indexed by movie title, click a letter to see the titles starting with that letter.

By the way: this list is extremely heavy, although not exclusive, with horror and science fiction films, because that's what I watch most.

A word about my terminology

As I wrote these reviews just for myself, I…

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Workshop » Works In Progress » Musical Works In Progress
Michael Kupietz Live (And Almost In Tune) on Pirate Cat Radio, 5/28/2009
Posted inMusic & Sounds Posted in genresWork-In-ProgressFull AlbumFolk & BluesAcousticky GuitarLive Performance

Album Preview: Michael Kupietz Live (And Almost In Tune) on Pirate Cat Radio, 5/28/2009

Back in 2009 my old ex-friend Rick Abruzzo, whom I'd met some years earlier during a mutual effort to resuscitate the soggy corpse of the San Francisco Cacophony Society, invited me to come down with my guitar and fill some airtime on Baghdad By The Bay, his show on San Francisco's Pirate Cat Radio. A few unruly friends tagged along to egg me on, and in addition to going out live over the wires, the ensuing off-the-cuff, improvised hour of chaos was recorded for posterity on Pirate Cat's state-of-the-art low-quality direct-to-mp3 recorder. This is that chaos. It may or may not have passed for showmanship—you be the judge.

This is basically a nearly-finished live album, warts and all, and creeping up on 15 years after the fact it just awaits on a little bit of final production gloss and mastering for me to…

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Writing » Life In A Mikeycosm (Thoughts & Reflections)
Kwitter, the one-user social network
Posted inWriting Posted in genresSocial Media Addiction

Social Mediocrity: Kwitter, the one-user social network

I quit Twitter a while back, and sometimes even just glancing at FB consumes a full day, so I have no outlet for my amusing social-media-worthy passing thoughts, except to just think them privately to myself. And that's so 20th century.

So this page is my new one-person social network, "Kwitter", a place to post thoughts, which I call "Kwits". Anyone who is me is invited to register and post.

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Home, News & Info » Policies & Legalese
Site Disclaimer, Terms of Use, and Conditions
Posted inNews & Info Posted in genresLegalese

The Man Is Out To Get Me: Site Disclaimer, Terms of Use, and Conditions

Commencing herewith are the understandings and conditions (hereinafter referred to as the "Terms Of Use") to which you must agree to be permitted to access, view, or use the whole or any constituent part of michaelkupietz.com's technology, data, resources, contents, privately-owned intellectual property, visual pages or media, electronic files, and RSS or other author-published data feeds (all hereinafter referred to collectively as the "Site"), whether accessed by michaelkupietz.com or any other domain or means by which any part of the Site may be accessed. You must immediately close and and terminate whatever means you are using to view or access the Site if you do not agree with the Terms Of Use in full.

The below interstitial numbered section titles in blue text are intended only for amusement and to facilitate easier reading, and are to be taken merely as visual page decoration and not as part of the…

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Music & Sound » Favorite Equipment & Tools
Bento software synthesizer screenshot
Posted inMusic & Sounds Posted in genresEquipment & Tools Used

Equipment Overview: Bento Box Software Synthesizer

I love the Bento synthesizer app. This is the kind of thing I never would have thought was worth my time, until I started to actually play with it and got sucked right in.

Having actually been around and doing electronic music at the very tail end of the era of analog synthesizers, I know from experience how spoiled modern electronic musicians are with digital synthesis: for instance, you can set up a sound, then go to bed, and in the morning it will still work the same as you left it. In the analog world, where everything from humidity to cosmic rays can affect your sound source, it wasn't always so.

Bento brings that unreliability and unpredictability to the digital age. It's a software emulation of an unpredictable, erratic old analog synthesizer. Noisy, with spotty controls and inconsistent results, it's very difficult to rationally figure out what any…

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Workshop » Works In Progress » Musical Works In Progress
गोल्डन यात्रा • The Golden Yatra
Posted inMusic & Sounds Posted in genresWork-In-ProgressFull AlbumDrone

Album Preview: गोल्डन यात्रा • The Golden Yatra

This one is finished except for the final production and mastering... it needs some studio gloss on it.

This a a drone album I did in early 2023. I created the basic audio for this with the wonderful Bento analog synthesis emulator, then arranged and produced it in my hated enemy Logic Pro.

Unlike a lot of my music, I would actually present this as worth a listen, for anyone open to things this far from conventional musical ideas. Dim the lights, put your headphones on, and drift downstream through my inner space for 80 minutes. You may like it or you may not, I never would have expected to. I certainly wouldn't ever have thought that a 80 minute piece of music with only one note could be engaging all the way through, and especially not hold up to repeated listening. But I'm pleased to…

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Writing » Life In A Mikeycosm (Thoughts & Reflections)
Shower thoughts
Posted inWriting Posted in genresRandom Brain DroppingsFun

Even In The Quietest Moments: Shower thoughts

Idea for a movie: A time traveling refugee from the 1990s is stuck in another era and must try to blend in, but is found out when it is discovered he knows how to correctly pronounce the names Shania, Tyra, and Demi.

Geezer Butler, bassist for the band Black Sabbath, came up with the idea for heavy metal music when the band drove past a movie theater showing a horror film, and there was a ticket line up the block. He thought to himself that if people like so much to be scared, what if he wrote music that was like a horror movie?

So, I wonder... what would the world be like today if the band had taken a different route, and driven past an X-rated theater instead?

What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, but must use Wordpress to do it?

Ice…

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Writing » Topical Writing
“Are you free?”, and Other Ideological Musings
Posted inWriting Posted in genresPoliticsAxe-Grinding

Ideology In Brief: “Are you free?”, and Other Ideological Musings

Let's talk about sex! No, wait, let's talk about something even more taboo!

These are some samples of political, ideological, or economic thoughts I've jotted down. I don't consider myself an authority on these things, for sure, I just like to think things through, and as I like to say, for me these kinds of writings are intended to open a conversation, not to be the final word.

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Home, News & Info » Social Web / Community Features
links
Posted inNews & Info Posted in genresExternal links

External Links: Fellow Travelers, Friends’ Sites, and other related links

Some IRL Friends

My old friend, a music professor and composer of both opera and rock music: Dan Sonenberg

A ridiculously talented friend and endless font of creativity who goes by many names, currently going by Slippereal Midedelic Brownage Piscadoro Kingfisher Mike Brown: music videos, and writing

Looks like my old friend Chris Simunek, whom I call Gene, was running a website of his countercultural journalism & writing for a while over at Paradise Burning. He never mentioned it to me. That's vintage Gene. Gene and his talented wife Rebekah Harris also run Shipwreck Montauk fine jewelery waaaay out on Long Island's eastern end.

My good friend, inspiration, and fellow traveler H. Dean Clark documents his adventures as…

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Workshop » Works In Progress » Musical Works In Progress
Five Themes In Uncertain Times v.0.89.05
Posted inMusic & Sounds Posted in genresWork-In-ProgressFull AlbumZetetic MusicProgressive / Art Rock

Album Preview: Five Themes In Uncertain Times v.0.89.05

Posted with great reluctance, my perpetually unfinished magnum opus, likely to someday stand as my failed masterpiece, a ponderous 65-minute arabesque of serialist post-rock instrumentals which, after 7 ongoing years of work and no end in sight, is at this point holding up the completion of 8 subsequent albums.

I wouldn't make a recommendation as to whether anybody should listen to this or not. This isn't actually intended for anyone to listen to, this one in particular I'm really just making to suit myself, writing it for its own sake. You're welcome to check it out, but that's as far in as I'll welcome you.

Some degree of patience may be of help to those who do care to venture into it, because it does something longer, quieter, and more deliberate than it may at first…

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