Movie Reviews » Je nais se quois

Blood (2023)

Entirely watchable supernatural thriller. Michelle Monaghan moves her family out to the country, where her young son is bit by a sick dog and subsequently develops an overwhelming thirst for…
Movie Reviews » Canadian

The Control

This stylistically incredibly Canadian sci-fi movie is unfortunately a swing and a miss. Basically, "Primer" but with virtual reality instead of time travel. In some sort of experiment that's too…
Movie Reviews » Bad but I liked it

Smothered

This is a charming semi-spoof horror featuring a bunch of '80s horror actors playing themselves (Kane Hodder, cameo from Michael Berryman, plus Bill Moseley in a role obviously intended for…
Movie Reviews » Je nais se quois

The Thing On The Doorstep

This movie is really odd. I will say right off that most people probably won't like it. This is yet another in the apparently long string of oddly charming, super-low-budget…
Movie Reviews » "Found Footage" crap

#MissingCouple

A fairly dreadful first-person shooter involving all the very worst tropes of the genre: long stretches of people just living their lives, lead characters are inane and annoying social media…
Movie Reviews » Bad but I liked it

Attack Of The Unknown

In Los Angeles, a bunch of tough-as-nails cops, soldiers, and criminals who look like actors and models shoot guns at rubbery aliens with CGI tentacles, while CGI spaceships appear in…
Movie Reviews » Bad but I liked it

Larva

Very decent paint-by-numbers monster/nature-run-amok movie, for a paint-by-numbers monster/nature-run-amok movie. New veterinarian comes to a small town where all the farmers have an arrangement to buy futuristic new feed from…
Movie Reviews » Trash

Livescream

The world's most boring video game makes the world's most boring "horror" movie. A screencast of a video game livestreamer histrionically reacting to a not-scary, non-action-packed "horror" video game that…
Movie Reviews » Bad but I liked it

Killing at Outpost Zeta

Clearly post-Battlestar-Galactica 1980 low-budget sci fi outing in which space travelers travel to a faraway planet, charming for its post-Battlestar-Galactica 1980ness. If that sounds appealing to you, sure, give it…
Movie Reviews » Je nais se quois

Messenger Of Wrath

A strangely ambitious story for a movie that appears to be a zero-budget amateur movie starring the director's never-acted-before friends. What starts home invasion captivity flick gets longer and more…
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Resurrected

My two favorite things: religious extremism presented as drama, and social media. Great. This movie asks us to believe the church—not scientists, the Catholic church—has perfected a never-explained technique for…
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Chariot

Despite the presence of the always-welcome Rosa Salazar, this is a painfully less-interesting-than-it-wants-to-be, weird-for-its-own-sake outing in the manner of "Being John Malkovich"—who also happens to play a supporting role in…
Movie Reviews » Bad but I liked it

Site 13

I'm noticing a trend. These tiny, low-budget indie filmmakers trying to do Lovecraft stories seem to often somehow be entertaining despite being total garbage. Something about the subject matter or…