I knew going into this it was going to be bad—as if a horror movie about someone putting razor blades in a waterslide at an amusement park could be anything but—but I was fully unprepared for how bad. For the first 50 minutes of this movie, teenagers at a waterpark bicker and argue and pick on each other. Then, an unknown person puts what are apparently the world's sharpest blades in an 'X' halfway down one of the slides with nobody noticing, and we get 20 minutes of so-bad-its-hilarious scenes of people being cut neatly into pie slices as they slide down the slide, and the crowd panicking at the disproportionately immense amount of gore this causes to come rushing out of the bottom. Oh, and, one guy, covered in blood, climbing all the way to the top to tell people to stop going down—because apparently the sound of dozens of people screaming 50 feet below them isn't enough to prompt them to look over the edge and see what's going on—to be dismissed by people at the top with a flippant "Dude, you need to see a shrink, you are wack" as they get in the slide (I guess a lot of blood soaked guys turn up screaming at the top of waterslides), and finally, thrown down it himself for no clear reason, as is a lifeguard who also climbs up to warn people after his walkie talkie picks a cinematically inopportune moment to stop working. Then the movie ends with no clear explanation.

If the whole movie had been as hilariously over-the-top bad as that last 20 minutes, it might have been that rare actual so-bad-its-good movie. But, sitting through 50 minutes of nothing at all for that? Nah.

Absolute bottom-of-the-barrel irredeemable waste of time.