Blood Hunters
Gorgeous single mother wakes up in a remote abandoned medical facility with no memory of how she got there or how she became pregnant. Monsters a la "The Descent" menace…
Preservation
Three douchebags sneak into a closed state park to go hunting, where they are terrorized and hunted down by what turns out to be a couple of suburban kids who…
The Rain
Swedish TV series, with English overdubs. The Walking Dead, but with a rain that kills you instead of zombies. Pretty good, actually.
Hungerford
First person shooter. Zero budget, almost a home movie, except for the last 10 minutes, which they apparently spent the whole budget on. Kids running for their lives from people…
Masterminds
Comedy based on real-life armored car heist caper. Zack Galiafinakis, Owen Wilson, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Jason Sudeikis, Sharon Jones, Joe Lo Truglio, and many more. With that many big…
Emelie
[Not to be confused with Amelie] A decent distraction that ends kind of unsatisfyingly by giving too much away. A thriller about a gorgeous babysitter who turns out to be…
We Have Always Lived In The Castle
Kind of a Merchant-Ivory take on a horror story, supposedly, but by about the two-thirds point, there wasn't any horror, and in fact hardly more than a few minutes worth…
Desolation
Captivity/pursuit flick. Mother and son pursued through the woods by a silent, murderous Dave Grohl for no reason. I'd run too.
The Ritual
Incredibly handsome English guys go off-trail and get lost in the woods (England? Sweden? I missed it). Vacation gone wrong. stalked through the woods, captivity, scary house in the woods,…
Await Further Instructions
Ok, I like this one. What starts out as a very slow, almost dreadfully British film somewhere along very roughly the lines of "Coherence"—turn a normal gathering (in this case…
The Hole In The Ground
Despite a little predictability, this Irish tale of a young mother who moves out to the woods and begins to suspect that her son has been replaced by an impostor…
Red Christmas
Death as entertainment. Dee Wallace in what looks like an interesting, quirky setup — a family full of characters gathers in a rural house for Christmas when the monstrous son…
The Hatred
Incredibly beautiful lead actress is the only conspicuous feature of this rote, by-the-numbers kids-on-vacation-in-a-haunted-house story. Oh, yeah, also, one cheap scare with what turns out to be the world’s scariest…
Conjoined
About to get engaged to a woman he's only ever met over video chat, a man discovers when she moves in that she's attached to a homicidal conjoined twin. 100%…
The Blackcoat’s Daughter
Emma Roberts and Kiernan Shipka in a movie so slow and boring that it slid right past my brain. Something about a girl stuck in a boarding school over recess…
We Need To Talk About Kevin
About 2/3 of the way through this one as I write this and about ready to turn it off. So far the movie consists of Tilda Swinton looking like she's…
Deviant Love
Movie-of-the-week level thriller about a woman whose protective new boyfriend turns out to be her deranged cousin trying to have her for himself. Oops, gave away the ending. Now you…
The Gate
Kind of suprised this isn't considered a "kids horror movie" classic, a la Goonies. 1980s kids horror movie, starts off sucking pretty bad for a good bit of its length…
Head Count
You know, I kind of liked this movie. What should have been a standard C-grade teens-getting-picked-off-in-a-remote-location horror movie packs some genuine creepiness in there, as teens in the deserve inadvertently…
Nothing Really Happens
This unbearably self-consciously "quirky" movie about a nondescript mattress salesman seems to lie somewhere on the line between "Napoleon Dynamite" and "Slackers". It desperately wants to be a "cult favorite".…
The Devil’s Candy
Family of metalheads buys a remote house in the country, is menaced by the psychopathic former resident who becomes fixated on the 14-year-old metalhead daughter. An all-around appealing, charismatic cast,…
The Lodge
Boy, what to say about this. Father says he wants a divorce, mom blows her brains out, six months later father brings kids & new fiance up to his remove…
“Spiderhole”
captivity/torture porn. A couple of kids in london break into an empty building to squat, find themselves trapped and tortured, dismembered, and in what I guess is supposed to be…
Eaters Of The Dead
Zero-budget camcorder-shot amateur garbage. Why is this kind of stuff on Amazon Prime? Apparently somebody's home movie about society-wide cannibalism after a nuclear apocalypse, if that matters. Even worse, it…
Willow Creek
The Blair Witch Project, but with Bigfoot, and less. BONUS TROPES! "No cell reception", unfriendly locals trying to run them off for unknown reasons, clueless city slickers lost in the…
Undone [series]
Bob Odenkirk redeems himself for "Melvin Goes To Dinner". Magical realist series about a young woman who suffers injuries in a car crash, only to discover that either insanity or…
Seven In Heaven
OMG. Ok. I kinda like these teen-oriented "horror" movies that seem like they were made from preteen novels, if they have a couple of fun ideas and creepy enough moments,…
Limitless
Decent drama/thriller starring Bradley Cooper as a down-on-his-luck writer who gets access to a drug that allows him to use 100% of his brain capacity, and his subsequent business and…
Love Eternal
Ok, no great shakes. Kind of turgid. Strange young man tries to end his own life, keeps bumping into suicidal women and in two cases takes their bodies home for…
Cop Car
Wow, talk about a flawed gem. I really like this neo-noir, which features the two most realistic 10-year-old boys I've ever seen in a movie finding an apparently abandoned cop…