Shivers
A phallic/fecal-looking parasite that causes uncontrollable, violent sexual urges spreads throughout an exclusive apartment complex. How's that for an opener? I just can't be objective about early David Cronenberg. I've…
Latest "Bad but I liked it" files
Bottle Monster
Alcohol single mother and young son movie into a new house and there are... things there. What a weird movie. Definitely an execrable, bottom-rung, amateur, poorly (really, not at all)…
The Face In The Wall
Zero—possibly negative—budget flick about amateur filmmakers in NYC who discover a blank wall that reveals a face when seen through their camera, which leads them to bring in a psychic…
Don’t Run
Nebbishy teen has a monster in his house that won't let him leave at night, forces him to be in bed by sundown, and eats anyone who comes calling. Basically,…
The Cobbler’s Wife
This feels like a pilot episode of an anthology sci-fi show that wasn't picked up, and at 1 hr 1 minute long, it probably is. A lonely shoemaker builds a…
Obsidian (2020)
Patients at a medical clinic trial an experimental drug that cures their permanent injuries... at first. Sub-USA-Up-All-Nite bottom-of-the-barrel zero-budget amateur-made flick turns out to be, weirdly, not a 100% terrible…
Self Quarantined
Well, this was a little different, and for the most part kind of entertaining little indie flick. A trio of women from Atlanta take a vacation in the woods during…
Unholy Song
A weirdly sort of entertaining zero-budget flick about a bunch of low-rent people in northern California who, bear with me, play a cassette tape and accidentally free a witch who…
Maggots
Kind of a fun D-grade zero-budget picture about a bunch of punk rockers camping in the woods when they get attacked by giant rubber maggots. Actually was kind of amusing…
Bonehill Road
This is one of those movies that seems like someone who had never made a movie, or even ever known anything about making a movie, had a camera and just…
13th Child: Legend Of The Jersey Devil
What a weird movie. This movie has the fashions—and solid-state screaming guitar soundtrack—of a more recent picture but looks and feels totally like a 1976 made-for-TV monster movie. Some horseshit…
Project MKHEXE
This slightly-better-than-it-should-be Lovecraftian horror mockumentary is about a filmmaker investigating his brother's suicide after months of raving about a secret government mind control project, "MKHEXE". The runtime is almost two…
Banshee!!!
This was really bad, but I liked it. It's a low-budget monster movie that appears to have spent its entire budget on the monster... and it's a good one. The…
Bitch Ass
A goofy slasher film in the tradition of (and even name-checks) "Hood of Horror". A gang initiation goes wrong when they break into a serial killer's house, and he's got…
The Dead Bodies In Room 223
A man calls a prostitute to a hotel, who overdoses while he's in the shower. Her madam shows up, gets to arguing with him, pulls a knife, and in a…
Beyond The Dunwich Horror
What is it about H.P. Lovecraft that inspires so many zero-budget absolutely terrible but obviously spirited 100% amateurish efforts, often starring what appear to be the director's friends or whoever…
Shifted
Another fatally-flawed horror gem in the finest Canadian tradition, this odd horror/thriller features an ensemble cast trying to survive trapped in a house with dwindling supplies as zombie-like former humans…
GoodBi (2022)
A germophobe nursing student begins to be inexplicably attacked by people around her wherever she goes. Don't watch this movie. I mean it. And especially, don't eat while watching this…
Devil’s Diary
Canadian-produced TV movie about a pair of outcast girls who find a diary where you can write any wish and it will come true. Being Canadian, it couldn't be as…
The Door (2014)
What a disappointment. This starts off with an interesting enough idea and fairly creepy execution. A kid saves a wealthy businessman from a mugging, and is rewarded with a job:…
Implented
Middling-to-ok near-future sci-fi flick about an experiment to implant people with AI chips, which take over their lives and force them to kill and sit up straight, you're slouching. I…
Postscript
Kind of a disappointment here. This anthology film showing stories of people wandering across a postapocalyptic wasteland, really just some hilly rural area, starts with a couple of incredibly cheap-looking…
Apocalyptic 2077
As amateurish as it gets, seems like a couple of friends probably got together and made this jokey English tale about a guy who gets stuck in an underground bunker…
Evil At The Door
Ok. Hmmmmmm. The setup for this movie is dissuasive: Once a year, an ancient secret society "The Locusts" stages "Night Of The Locusts", where innocent people are set up for…
Exorcism At 60,000 Feet
A horror-themed variant of those sub-"Airplane!" movies that are intentionally stupid, play to overly broad stereotypes, etc., such as the "joke" of having a child played by a full-grown dwarf,…
Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women
This little oddity has a story that isn't really relevant to it, but it's amusing: Roger Corman bought the rights to a Russian early '60s sci-fi film, had Peter Bogdanovich…
Hostile Dimensions
This films is difficult to know what to do with. By all rights, it should suck. Zero budget, not very good acting, plotting that seems rather arbitrary, and, worst of…
OMG… We’re In A Horror Movie
This is one of those really bad movies that kind of feels like a group of friends got together and made a movie, but in this case, every single one…
Sorry I Killed You
This movie is pretty sophomoric. Dick jokes (including a huge rubber dildo that appears more than once), insecurity about males being mistaken for being gay, and every imaginable prank that…
Neighbors (1981)
Tough call here. I have a hard time viewing this movie objectively due to the affection I feel for having seen it in the theaters as a kid. It's not…