The Final Scream
Torture porn without much torture. A young actress is lured out to a remote house to be cast in a horror movie. It's not a movie. Yawn.
Chatterbox (2022)
The most clichéd, unimaginative slasher pic I've ever seen. This is like if AI wrote a slasher pic. Six friends but a remote fixer-upper in the English countryside where there…
The Frame
This is an interesting one. It takes so long to get where it's going, but is so passably adequate even before it's gotten there, that by the time it does…
OMG… We’re In A Horror Movie
This is one of those really bad movies that kind of feels like a group of friends got together and made a movie, but in this case, every single one…
The Radleys
Pretty decent English modern-vampire-movie-played-almost-as-drama a lá "The Hamiltons". This was pretty decent though. Modern English vampire family deals with internal politics and trying to survive without being found out in…
#Float
Continuing the tradition of teen scream horror movies about "influencers" being terrible, this terrible teen scream horror movie is about an influencer who takes a tubing trip with a bunch…
Alone With You
An indie, hipster version of "1408". Woman trapped alone in her Brooklyn apartment has a bunch of surreal, random "scary" things happen to her, and it's all supposed to mean…
Trapped Inn
A highly mediocre movie that descends into a disjoined mess as the filmmakers apparently changed their minds three or four times about what they wanted it to be. A team…
Paperhouse
English 1988 kid's fantasy film about an girl who connects with a local disabled boy through her fantasies of visiting a creepy, surreal rural house. It was alright, I suppose,…
The Hole
A disappointing outing from Joe Dante. As a horror movie, it's on the level of his "Gremlins" but without any of the originality and charm. Two teen boys and the…
Sorry I Killed You
This movie is pretty sophomoric. Dick jokes (including a huge rubber dildo that appears more than once), insecurity about males being mistaken for being gay, and every imaginable prank that…
Ankle Biters (2021)
I can't believe it. Somebody actually made a "horror comedy" that works watchably well as both. I have never seen a film that is so charming and so grisly at…
The Beyond (2017)
Sort of bombastic, portentious sci-fi wannabe-"epic" pseudodocumentary about humans exploring a wormhole and having their brains transplanted into artificial bodies and finding new solar systems and such. Moderately ok, I…
Proximity
Kind of a fun teen sci-fi thriller about a geeky young JPL scientist who posts a video of an encounter with an extraterrestrial and winds up on the run across…
Beyond the Sky
Surprisingly ok sci-fi special effects thriller, after a slow and cliched start. Filmmaker out to debunk UFO abductions gets more than he expected in the American southwest, but it winds…
Half Lives
Millenials trapped in a bunker after the apocalypse predictably go nuts and argue. A lot.
Bored Games
Quirky, kind of fun English film about three couples living in a backyard bunker after the apocalypse when things get crazy. It was billed as a "horror comedy", which typically…
Ticks (1993)
A strange one. This movie about a team of campers beseiged by giant mutant ticks stars a bunch of unlikely comedy and sitcom actors: Seth Green, Alphonse Ribiero, Peter Scolari…
Starry Eyes
An indie horror film I want very badly to like but just... meh... not quite? Alexandra Essoe stars as a young actress whose chance at a new role starts to…
Misery
This film is pretty good. A lot of Stephen King adaptations are terrible, even ones of good books, but this one about a writer being held captive by a psychotic…
Neighbors (1981)
Tough call here. I have a hard time viewing this movie objectively due to the affection I feel for having seen it in the theaters as a kid. It's not…
Misfit
An obese high school girl who is mercilessly picked on is taken in by a serial killer, shown the ropes, and coached to torture her tormentors. I throw around the…
The Domestic
Decent enough African supernatural thriller about a couple who hire the daughter of their deceased housekeeper who makes weird traditional foods and practices whatever the old tribal religion is, and…
Death On Scenic Drive
Serious swing and a miss here. Beautiful cinematography, and a nice analog synth soundtrack—overall reminischent of "Beyond The Black Rainbow" in those ways, including with lots of saturated lighting ond…
The Darkness Outside
Mediocre low-budget indie thriller about a woman whose daughter disappears from her bedroom although they can still hear her calling for help from right nearby, leading to a difficult-to-follow tale…
It Stains The Sands Red
What a disappointment. This movie starts off like it's going to be a cut above, with a really unique idea that, for about the first half of it, hold up…
Swallowed
Odd movie starts like a horror flick and becomes a neo-noir crime thriller with minor horror elements. Gay couple agree to ferry drugs by swallowing them wrapped in condoms to…
Octogames
Absolutely execrable zero-budget home movie ripoff of "Squid Games". A YouTuber decides he wants to give away his channel, so, he has a competition where people play childrens games to…
The Battery
Hmmmm. HMMMMMMM. Hmmmm. Here we have a seriously flawed gem. This is a "slice of life" zombie movie. Two ex-ballplayers wander around New England trying to survive after a zombie…
Aquaslash
I knew going into this it was going to be bad—as if a horror movie about someone putting razor blades in a waterslide at an amusement park could be anything…
