Bonehill Road
This is one of those movies that seems like someone who had never made a movie, or even ever known anything about making a movie, had a camera and just…
13th Child: Legend Of The Jersey Devil
What a weird movie. This movie has the fashions—and solid-state screaming guitar soundtrack—of a more recent picture but looks and feels totally like a 1976 made-for-TV monster movie. Some horseshit…
Cameron’s Closet
Execrable "horror" TV movie with about as much depth as a Hallmark card, if Hallmark card had token blood splatters to be "scary". A young boy has telekinesis, because I…
The Glass Ceiling
A very talky, uneventful 1971 Giallo flick from Spain. A woman is left home while her husband is away, and seems to go about her life and talk to her…
Hidden Exposure
Slightly-above-average-for-a-TV-movie TV movie starring Liana Liberato as the distraught dumpee of an unlikable jackass who follows him to his new home upstate and does the TV movie equivalent of invading…
Devour
A surprisingly forgettable teen scream which inexplicably stars some familiar and reasonably talented faces: a pre-"Supernatural" Jensen Ackles, Dominique Swain, Shannyn Sossamon. A teen gets lured into a world of…
Ghosts Of The Void
Hmmmmmm. Tough to know what to do with this one. It might be the most deeply flawed of flawed gems. A captivity/pursuit flick that doesn't really have any captivity or…
The Ideal
The Shining, except with a teacher with a history of domestic violence getting some writing done while working in an empty school over the summer with his students instead of…
The Dead Half
Blech. Egotistical director recruits a team of young actors to spend the night filming in a hounted house with strapped-on cameras and, basically, nothing happens. They wander around for an…
The Alternate
Okay-ish sci-fi thriller about a videographer who discovers a portal to an alternate universe where his duplicate alternate self is living a much better life, and decides he wants that…
Double Vision (2020)
Godawful sub-"USA Up All Nite" garbage that seems to have been shot by amateurs with a home video camera and a knowledge of slasher film clichés (and, amusingly, video editing…
And Here No Devil Can Hurt You
This seems like a student film... decent at some things about filmmaking (occasionally striking visual images and framing), and totally seemingly oblivious to the need for others (decent writing, any…
A Serious Man
In adding my review of Fargo for no other reason than that I couldn't have a "favorite movies" section that didn't mention it, I discovered that I somehow left "A…
Fargo
I just discovered I have somehow never reviewed this major favorite of mine. A modern redefinition of the film noir and crime dramas, and probably, with "Pulp Fiction", responsible for…
Uncontained
A surprisingly ok, watchable post-zombie-apocalypse flick about a tough-as-nails drifter stumbling onto a remote house in Alaska where the precocious young children of a government research wait for their gorgeous,…
The Wraith
Pretty much a date movie, but not so much a "I hope the person I'm watching with ends up clinging to me, let's try a horror movie" date movie as…
The Falling
Straight-up USA Up All Nite fare, and not the best of that, although not the worst of that either, with the understanding that that's not saying much. A 1986 movie…
The Wild
Sunita Mani got me again. As with the sci-fi "Save Yourselves", this is a supposed genre flick, horror this time, that's really mostly about people going off into the woods…
Show Yourself
Man goes camping in the woods alone to scatter his friend's ashes when and the friend or something, haunts him. Not bad, I guess, a lot of movies are way…
Royal Jelly
This is one of those movies so bad I wrote this review before it was even halfway finished. It's kind of a foregone conclusion. Wooden acting, over-obvious symbolism (the lead…
Project MKHEXE
This slightly-better-than-it-should-be Lovecraftian horror mockumentary is about a filmmaker investigating his brother's suicide after months of raving about a secret government mind control project, "MKHEXE". The runtime is almost two…
Delicate Arch
Four hipsters take a camping trip in the desert to try to make "YellowBrickRoad" and aren't good enough filmmakers to pull it off. They make up for lack of an…
The Ranger
A bunch of punk rockers go to... wait for it... a cabin in the woods, where a deranged park ranger starts picking them off while quoting park regulations at them,…
The Beach House
The always oddly likeable Liana Liberato in a creature feature, of sorts, that starts out alright but unfortunately kind of runs out of steam. A vacation at the beach house…
Anything For Jackson
"The Omen" cast a long shadow, and this well-made but somewhat derivative tale sits squarely enough within it that some of the scares are unfortunately predictable. Holly Palance cheerily throwing…
Drive Back
Substantially recycling most of its major points from "Brightwood" this movie improves on it in some ways and falls short of it in others. Promisingly, the couple in this film…
The Voicemail
Supernatural "thriller" apparently aimed at like 10 year olds or something. A group of gorgeous girls receive strange voicemail messages apparently from a graveyard, and it turns out one of…
Reap
Amateur hour, starring people who just can't even act. A bunch of vapid LA kids have a party and a weird girl shows up and tells them she's going to…
I Am Going to Kill Someone This Friday
Fanms of Bad Lieutenant and Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer will probably like the psychotic executive protagonist of this film. This is a lower-key variety of psychopath than Christian…
A Brilliant Monster
A writer has a monster in the upstairs of his house who he feeds people to and it gives him ideas for bestselling books. It was, eh, ok. Not good,…