Adam Sandler—get this—talks in a stupid affected voice! Hilarious, right?

Actually, if not for him, and the fortunately mostly very short cameos of every single painfully unfunny person from about 15 years of SNL from Dana Carvey to Jon Lovitz to Kevin Nealon to Rob Schneider to even a namecheck for Chris Farley, this was cute enough, not as absolutely stupid as most things he's been involved with. And, I mean, it's got Harvey Keitel hamming it up as the devil, which is fun. Probably the best Adam Sandler movie I've seen, although that's an abysmally low bar. If not for the stupid voice, it actually would be almost watchable. (But if he couldn't do a stupid voice, I guess he'd have had to act.)

This came on as autoplay after a Will Ferrell movie, and right after this Tubi tried to autoplay a David Spade movie, and I drew…

The still-inexplicably-famous Will Ferrell does his usual job of unfunnily hamming it up, in this case sucking the talent out of a pretty star-studded cast of extras in this period farce.

A very '70s movie that I remember from my childhood as a comedy—c'mon, it has George Burns as God, appearing to John Denver as a man picked to be his modern Moses—and yet, upon review, it has no actual jokes.

It does have Paul Sorvino cast, in a turn that seems unlikely nowadays, as a southern baptist preacher, so if you'd like to see him pay something other than a mafioso, it has that.

Other than Dustin Hoffman's tic-filled, fairly convincing performance as an autistic savant, there's really not as much here as I expected. The constant tics get old fast, and Tom Cruise's performance as his sleazy, materialistic brother gets old almost before it starts, and there isn't much narrative to it. Definitely more of a Tom Cruise movie than a Dustin Hoffman movie.

Cute coming-of-age LGBT comedy about a Christian girl, improbably played by a young Natasha Lyonne, being set to conversion therapy. Some stunt casting, with LGBT icons like Mink Stole and RuPaul cast as conservative parents and teacher.

Pretty cheezy horror anthology film that looks like it was made in the 80s, complete with tediously familiar eurodisco synth soundtrack. Witches, slashers, an obvious Elvira ripoff, etc. Kind of bottom-of-the-barrel. You're not missing anything.

Strangely boring horror anthology series. Well-made, and some of it started off seeming like it was going to be interesting, but, while it wasn't terrible, somehow it had a bit too much shrieking, a few too many guns, and some overly familiar storylines.

English folk horror. Very well directed but ultimately gives up narrative in favor of phantasmagoria, for an ultimately unsatisfying watch.

I firmly enjoyed this movie for about 2/3 of its runtime. A woman recovering from her husband's suicide rents an English countryside house, and before long she's stalked by a strange naked man from the woods, and the other villagers—all men except for a lone female police officer and the only sympathetic villager, and all played by the same actor with a great deal of well-done makeup and digital distortion—because less sympathetic and first dismissive, then hostile. In the last third it abandons the mounting drama/thriller effort, which I was enjoying, in favor of folk horror, laden with admittedly very well-done special effects, but more just a spectable and not the narrative denouement I was hoping for. Ultimately what was mostly an atmospheric and tight if low-key thriller just gives…

Mountain bikers go on a trip to Chile, and spend half the movie just being douchebags, then encounter the local criminal element and get victimized and pursued through the woods for the next 1/3 of the movie, before the last half of the third act when they finally start the action and the cool monsters and supernatural stuff. Captivity/pursuit flick, the kind of movie where a lot of the audio is just people screaming or whimpering, and would be kind of a good one if they hadn't waited until the last 15 minutes of the movie to get interesting. Had kind of "Cannibal Holocaust" exploitation-flick-in-the-jungle feel once it finally got going, but the 85% of the movie where you're waiting for that was just tedious. Filmmakers gotta learn, you can't just pile on a bunch of cool shit at the very end.

Couple stuck in a cabin surrounded by a zombie hoard. Gritty, intense production, which is nice, but other than that fairly run-of-the-mill.

Just-slightly-better-than-mediocre horror thriller about a man who comes under the control of a mad scientist who tries to "help" him control his drinking by taking over his body and forcing him to kill people every time he gets drunk.

Ok, so, the big final blowout between Jamie Lee Curtis and Michael Myers. It had to be BIG. And obviously they tried to make it good. It's a well-made movie, for sure.

But, it's Halloween. It's still a slasher flick. The world's best slasher flick is still just a slasher flick. And after The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, who needs another slasher flick?

Nicely-shot but tough-to-believe thriller about a gorgeous city family moving to rural New England, having problems with the crusty locals and maybe hallucinating a little bit. Kind of a stinker. Seemingly venomously panned in reviews, but I didn't think it was *that* bad, it just wasn't very good.