Archives: Movie Reviews

anthology seemingly aimed at 12-year-olds. A babysitter is held captive by a creepy doll and forced to watch terrible horror vingettes.

Not a bad one. That guy who was one of the McPoyle Brothers who's everywhere now goes to his country home and gets tormented for past crimes by a cover…

This post-Tarantino crime drama-to-zombie alien horror flick-to-crime drama is as amateurish and crappy as it gets, total grade-Z, but miraculously is saved by the raw charisma of pretty much *everybody*…

Comedy. Hilarious satire of the "evil rednecks massacre gorgeous kids in the woods" genre, told from the actually good-hearted rednecks' point of view.

Something about english girls and UFOs. Kind of slid past my brain. Possibly the lowest production values of any movie I've seen. I think these girls were like, "What do…

Sort of typical of how Hulu has a lot of horror movies that are not necessarily that good, but nonetheless interesting. Despite the cliched title, a fairly original spin on…

WOW. Won film festival prizes. Tarkovsky meets Cronenberg. Very slow moving, horror without scares. Focuses on characters, 70's-ish in the same way Beyond The Black Rainbow was. Scientist finally finds…

ravers chased through the woods by satanists. Acrually surprisingly good, like how some episodes of 90210 were good.

I like it. A very decent captivity/desperation film about a schizophrenic teenager keeping his siblings and babysitter captive in the bathroom while their parents are away.

you knew somebody was eventually going to make a movie that justified the use of the first person camera perspective. This is the one. Evil kids destroy their family, As…

A personal fave. More of a horror comedy than a horror film, but twisted and bizarre enough to be real fun. A kid, a serial killer, a halloween mask, a…

Simply put, the worst movie ever made, and not in that spectacular way that might be worth seeing just for the awfulness. Psycho girl played by an actress who appears…

Saw this movie a few days ago and I have already forgotten it.

pretentious, nonsensical, overstylized black and white crap. Hipster girl watches haunted house in Brooklyn, bring a guy home, inexplicably kills her then goes insane. Dull. (Much later note: Yes, I…

All the cringeworthy, painful embarrassment* of 90210 and sheer greasy self-involved repugnance of Sex And The City. Halfway through the first episode I was gripped by a paralyzing fear that…

Australian woman survives intrigue and lust on abandoned farm in post-zombie-apocalyptic drama with even fewer zombies than Here Alone. Drama, not a horror film.

Woman survives intrigue and lust in the woods in post-zombie-apocalyptic drama with almost no zombies. Drama, not a horror film. Pretty good actually.

Gaby Hoffman in a lesbian retelling of Rosemary's baby, except nowhere near as good.

The Final Girl kills the maniac. Set on an Irish Farm. I didn't pay much attention to it.

Another strange, utterly cheap-looking film that looks like it was filmed on an iPhone and is basically utter shite, with virtually no plot, one set, or character depth. A bunch…

strange, poorly acted, poorly made, very cheap-looking, amateurish film using only natural light and almost no special effects, yet manages to maintain a good rhythm and convey consistent enough very…

run-of-the-mill captivity and torture by a psycho in an abandoned slaughterhouse, pretty pedestrian, but, I dunno, something about it is kind of engaging. I enjoyed it an iota more than…

Monster found in an iceberg slowly picks off crew of Bering Sea ship. Once again proves that if you find yourself in a horror movie scenario, the key to survival…

good old-fashioned monster movie! People hiding in a basement from an invasion of giant wasps. Cheezy, but not toooo cheezy. Done right in most ways. Big fun here, I like…

"Jacobs ladder", except bad.