Wintertide
I'm leaving this here just so I remember if I run across this again. This movie started slow, and I was having a hard night with other things, so for…
Hypochondriac
Very poorly-paced movie about a man slowly having a psychotic breakdown as a new relationship falls apart. Commits the cardinal sin of getting "arsty" maybe 2/3 of the way through,…
Shapeless
This movie doesn't appear to have a plot. A bulimic jazz singer sings "St. James Infirmary" and has bulimia. And that's it. Another scene, another rendition of "St. James Infirmary".…
Implented
Middling-to-ok near-future sci-fi flick about an experiment to implant people with AI chips, which take over their lives and force them to kill and sit up straight, you're slouching. I…
Postscript
Kind of a disappointment here. This anthology film showing stories of people wandering across a postapocalyptic wasteland, really just some hilly rural area, starts with a couple of incredibly cheap-looking…
House Of Darkness 2: New Blood
A woman whose husband mysteriously disappeared, her son, and her new fiancee move back to the fiancee's hometown and become embroiled in supernatural dealings so mediocre and forgettable that I…
House Of Darkness
A young family move into a new home in the country that harbors a dark force which makes the residents live through every horror movie cliche about what happens to…
The House
The word "turgid" was invented for this movie. A woman goes to stay in a friend's house and discovers it is inhabited by the trapped souls of people who died…
Presence (2022)
Well-produced by terribly written movie about a woman who goes on a yacht to make some sort of a business deal, she's having nightmares, people are getting killed in real…
Good Neighbours
A couple invites the strange new neighbors over to dinner, where they act strangely enough that anyone who's ever seen a movie can immediately guess that they're aliens in disguise.…
Apocalyptic 2077
As amateurish as it gets, seems like a couple of friends probably got together and made this jokey English tale about a guy who gets stuck in an underground bunker…
Hell’s Caretaker
Unlikeable douchebags gaver at a remote cabin in Vermont—with, get this, no cell service!—and the affable-seeming caretaker turns out to be a psycho and begins picking them off. Actually, for…
Evil At The Door
Ok. Hmmmmmm. The setup for this movie is dissuasive: Once a year, an ancient secret society "The Locusts" stages "Night Of The Locusts", where innocent people are set up for…
Impossible Horror
Two women hear mysterious screams at night and try to track them down, leading to involvement with other "scream hunters", many of whom have died suspicious deaths apparently at their…
Into The Gravel Pit
A couple of kids take an unnamed new drug and freak out in a difficult-to-understand nonlinear narrative. It seems like the director looked at some of the horrible real-life stories…
Summoners
Supernatural drama about a young woman into witchcraft returning to her childhood home to reunite with her former witchcraft partner and cast spells and stuff, and deal with past tragedies.…
Exorcism At 60,000 Feet
A horror-themed variant of those sub-"Airplane!" movies that are intentionally stupid, play to overly broad stereotypes, etc., such as the "joke" of having a child played by a full-grown dwarf,…
The Blue Rose
A visually beautiful film made by someone who obviously studied at the feet of Blue Velvet-era David Lynch in terms of cinematography, and succeeds well on that level, but is…
Evie
Dreadfully uneventful British "horror" movie with a lot of talk and almost no story. A girl finds a cursed necklace and her personality changes. Fast forward years and she and…
Red Earth
An interesting indie exercise, more artsy than I often like, but in this case it's effective—think more Tarkovsky than "Brooklyn hipster with a video recorder". There are a lot of…
Dr. Ken [tv series]
Ken Jeong stars in this fictionalized version of his life, which apparently consists of a lot of overly broad characterizations, tired sitcom tropes, and middle-aged people talking in awkward, exaggerated…
The Blind King
Slightly overwrought single-parent-and-child-move-into-a-new-house-and-parent-must-confront-their-own-past-demons-to-save-child-from-malevolent-entity movie. You know the drill.
Crawl
Ok nature/animal attack thriller. Kaya Scodelario and her father are trapped in the crawlspace of a house in Florida as particularly ferocious but oddly slow-moving alligators swarm in the rising…
They Crawl Beneath
Decent enough b-movie monster movie, if you're in the mood for a b-movie monster movie. A mechanic is stuck pinned under a car in a garage while giant poisonous nematodes…
The Hyperborean
A self-consciously "weird" movie (never a good thing in my book) movie which suffers primarily from self-consciously "quirky" characters obviously invented by a Wes Anderson fan: a family with a…
The Call
Very decent, tense thriller. Halle Berry is a 911 operater on a live call with a girl who's been abducted and is in the trunk of a car speeding down…
Cold Souls
Moderately entertaining if almost too quirky sci-fi comedy along the lines of, but happily much more restrained than, something like "Being John Malkovich". Paul Giamatti plays himself, so tormented by…
The Summoning (2015)
Fairly mediocre but passably enjoyable B-movie supernatural thriller. A woman, remarried but missing her late husband, receives a cursed medallion that allows her to bring him back from the dead…
Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women
This little oddity has a story that isn't really relevant to it, but it's amusing: Roger Corman bought the rights to a Russian early '60s sci-fi film, had Peter Bogdanovich…
Dead Air
It's hard to do anything new with a zombie movie nowadays, but this movie kind of does. Bill Moseley takes a star turn in a convincing performance of a mildly…