Remember the good old 1980s, when things were so uncomplicated?

After hearing Fahrenheit mentioned about a million times I had to find out, and got a sample. I am highly amused.

This is freshman year of college in a bottle. That’s not a putdown, it’s actually exceptionally nice, all the good things people say about it are true. Cedar, lavendar, bergamot, and much more, all very nicely blended. It really is an extraordinary composition that deserves its renown. But, damn, it just smells so much like something I would have worn in hopes of impressing girls with real eyebrows and big hair.

Damn, I can’t say anything about it that doesn’t sound like a putdown, and that’s not what I mean. It smells really good. I really like it. I’m on a heavy-duty nostalgia trip, and I like it a lot. At the time I wore Drakkar, but that’s only because this wasn’t available yet. This is what I wanted.

There’s nothing floral here, nothing frou-frou. This is a relic of an age when gourmand scents were happily undreamt of, a last great stand of a previous era of fragrance from the very eve before postmodern irony became a necessary social good.

This doesn’t in any way try to evoke tropical shorelines, windswept glaciers, a damp forest, or a Kathmandu marketplace. This evokes one thing, with laser-like focus: a young man. At a club. Who wants ladies to think he smells really good.

And I wouldn’t put Drakkar on again nowadays, but this, I would actually wear occasionally, just to rock that “Throwback Thursday” vibe.

In fact, as I’ve sat and engaged in my customary numerous neurotic revisions of these pearls of prose, as this scent has had time to envelop me, the more I think I might just say, “fuck worrying about being a fat middle-aged man walking around 2022 trying to smell like a college kid from 1988”. This could be a fave.

I still like girls with real eyebrows and big hair, too.