Incomprehensible home-movie-quality attempt at some sort of horror. Guy does drugs and freaks out or hallucinates or something. No acting, lighting, or talent to be found anywhere near this endeavor. Thankfully only an hour long.

Terribly paced, cheaply made splatstick about a bunch of American tourists in Australia who encounter a menacing pack of digitally-generated koalas with glowing eyes and an actor in a very fake-looking "mutant koala" costume.

A stereotypical atheist-as-imagined-by-Christians wants to kill himself for 90 minutes that feels like 3 hours, while everybody preaches at him that they believe there's an alternative. The corny music and wooden sub-soap-opera-quality attempts at acting are such a solid tipoff that it's a Christian film that by the time you spot the surreptitious crucifixes and churches in the background of way too many shots, all of 5 minutes into it, it's absolutely no surprise.

Here's something that's never happened before: a movie so disappointing it made me angry.

A man goes to spend the night in the woods after catching a hazy apparition on film the had been reported as walking along the edge of the trees near the road every night at sunset.

Basically, it's "The Blair Witch Project", except it's one guy instead of a group, and he sits at a campfire for a few hours instead of wandering for three days, and nothing happens.

Started off decent because the guy is actually kind of convincing. But, I mean, nothing happens. He makes camp, finds a bone, hears some noises, sits getting nervous, calls his wife to pick him up and leaves. And that's the plot. That's 90 minutes of movie.

Just putting here because I forgot to review it and it's a touchstone for a certain variety of film that I find so worthless I can't imagine why they were made. See my review of "Visioneers" for a description.

Well-made but irredeemably, genuinely horrible "Funny Games"*-type picture consisting of nothing but brutality as entertainment. Billed as a "black comedy", without a single bit of humor, unless you think violence is funny.

Two down-on-their-luck losers meet a rich couple in a bar who challenge them to an escalating series of repulsive, cruel, and brutally violent dares for massive sums of cash. And that's it, that's all there is. When someone finally wins the final dare, the movie ends with him returning home to his family with the money, and that's it. I supposed it's supposed to read as some sort of redemption that he's sicker than the other guy in how far he's willing to go to save his family's finances. I didn't really see it that way.

David Koechner in the role he was born to play—that's not a good thing—as the leering rich guy.

(*No…

I really wanted to like this movie. This was recommended to me by a few people in Indieweb when it was October '25 movie of the month for their Indieweb Movie Club blog carnival, hosted by the estimable Benji.

So, it is with some degree of disappointment that I found, not being a child of the '90s and having no sentimental attachment to the excesses of that era (I have the '70s for that, thank you, although I generally don't steer unwitting friends of other generations towards it with any promise that the cheese I happen to love is going to hold any reward for them) that I found this to be an vapid and unredeemable pile of glossy Hollywood garbage.

This movie appears to have been written by a screenwriter who read an article about "hacking" in Newsweek…

Bottom-of-the-barrel zero-budget indie sci-fi about a mad scientist who kidnaps people to clone them for some reason. Notable only for having a twist ending I saw coming about 30 minutes into the movie. (The good guy escapes, and it turns out he was cloned and the clone sets off after him.)

A disjointed, stylized "artsy" film which seems to be about a woman who is experiencing the deaths of a bunch of people from different places and points in history, but is just a bunch of scenes with no clear narrative. Well-shot but I just couldn't follow what was supposed to be happening.

The kind of movie that a church group makes when they decide to make a "horror movie".

Well, you gotta admire their commitment.

I wonder how these things get on Tubi.

Best moment: The psychiatrist hands the protagonist a bible and tells him he needs God, not medication. Protagonist: "You're a doctor, not a priest." Psychiatrist: "I'm a human being. One who knows a lot more about these kinds of things than you do."

Amateurish, zero-budget attempt at a thriller. I can't even really follow the plot, this guy gets broken out of jail, now he owes someone some money, this little girl is being read to on the playground by someone nobody else can see. Two freaking hours and 35 minutes long. No thanks.

One of the most boring "thrillers" I've ever seen.

An injured climber in Scotland wakes up in a mountain shelter. He tends to his injuries, and in a few minutes another climber shows up, and they talk.

And talk.

And talk.

And that's literally all they do.

About 80 minutes into this 110 minute movie, they finally start talking about some horror or drama element—supposedly some beast is roving outside and wants the climber. Why did it take 80 minutes to get to this? Finally, in the last 20 minutes, they get into some supernatural elements.

I get the sense this was a 15-minute short that the director/writer/star narcissistically thought deserved to be a 2 hour movie. It didn't. Might have been a cool 12-15 minute short, if they'd gotten to the ending.

But, I mean, literally 80 minutes of two guys in a room talking before the…