Await Further Instructions
Ok, I like this one. What starts out as a very slow, almost dreadfully British film somewhere along very roughly the lines of "Coherence"—turn a normal gathering (in this case…
The Hole In The Ground
Despite a little predictability, this Irish tale of a young mother who moves out to the woods and begins to suspect that her son has been replaced by an impostor…
Red Christmas
Death as entertainment. Dee Wallace in what looks like an interesting, quirky setup — a family full of characters gathers in a rural house for Christmas when the monstrous son…
The Hatred
Incredibly beautiful lead actress is the only conspicuous feature of this rote, by-the-numbers kids-on-vacation-in-a-haunted-house story. Oh, yeah, also, one cheap scare with what turns out to be the world’s scariest…
Conjoined
About to get engaged to a woman he's only ever met over video chat, a man discovers when she moves in that she's attached to a homicidal conjoined twin. 100%…
The Blackcoat’s Daughter
Emma Roberts and Kiernan Shipka in a movie so slow and boring that it slid right past my brain. Something about a girl stuck in a boarding school over recess…
We Need To Talk About Kevin
About 2/3 of the way through this one as I write this and about ready to turn it off. So far the movie consists of Tilda Swinton looking like she's…
Deviant Love
Movie-of-the-week level thriller about a woman whose protective new boyfriend turns out to be her deranged cousin trying to have her for himself. Oops, gave away the ending. Now you…
The Gate
Kind of suprised this isn't considered a "kids horror movie" classic, a la Goonies. 1980s kids horror movie, starts off sucking pretty bad for a good bit of its length…
Head Count
You know, I kind of liked this movie. What should have been a standard C-grade teens-getting-picked-off-in-a-remote-location horror movie packs some genuine creepiness in there, as teens in the deserve inadvertently…
Nothing Really Happens
This unbearably self-consciously "quirky" movie about a nondescript mattress salesman seems to lie somewhere on the line between "Napoleon Dynamite" and "Slackers". It desperately wants to be a "cult favorite".…
The Devil’s Candy
Family of metalheads buys a remote house in the country, is menaced by the psychopathic former resident who becomes fixated on the 14-year-old metalhead daughter. An all-around appealing, charismatic cast,…
The Lodge
Boy, what to say about this. Father says he wants a divorce, mom blows her brains out, six months later father brings kids & new fiance up to his remove…
“Spiderhole”
captivity/torture porn. A couple of kids in london break into an empty building to squat, find themselves trapped and tortured, dismembered, and in what I guess is supposed to be…
Eaters Of The Dead
Zero-budget camcorder-shot amateur garbage. Why is this kind of stuff on Amazon Prime? Apparently somebody's home movie about society-wide cannibalism after a nuclear apocalypse, if that matters. Even worse, it…
Willow Creek
The Blair Witch Project, but with Bigfoot, and less. BONUS TROPES! "No cell reception", unfriendly locals trying to run them off for unknown reasons, clueless city slickers lost in the…
Undone [series]
Bob Odenkirk redeems himself for "Melvin Goes To Dinner". Magical realist series about a young woman who suffers injuries in a car crash, only to discover that either insanity or…
Seven In Heaven
OMG. Ok. I kinda like these teen-oriented "horror" movies that seem like they were made from preteen novels, if they have a couple of fun ideas and creepy enough moments,…
Limitless
Decent drama/thriller starring Bradley Cooper as a down-on-his-luck writer who gets access to a drug that allows him to use 100% of his brain capacity, and his subsequent business and…
Love Eternal
Ok, no great shakes. Kind of turgid. Strange young man tries to end his own life, keeps bumping into suicidal women and in two cases takes their bodies home for…
Cop Car
Wow, talk about a flawed gem. I really like this neo-noir, which features the two most realistic 10-year-old boys I've ever seen in a movie finding an apparently abandoned cop…
Melvin Goes To Dinner
First-time director Bob Odenkirk loads this calculatedly "relatable" movie with shaky, out-of-focus handheld camerawork; "artistic" effects like illustrating a character telling an anecdote with a flashback consisting only of still…
The Gift (2015)
Terribly miscast Jason Bateman—who doesn't have the range to be believable as a bully when he's just been acting like relatable Michael Bluth for the first half of the movie—in…
#Alive
It's getting tough to do a fresh take on the zombie outbreak picture, but this Korean film does an alright job. The slightly low, non-Netflix-TV-episode-quality production values are really the…
A.M.I.
Ripped from today's headlines! A virtual assistant begins acting like a (non-diegetically) weird-looking girl's mother, soon convincing to kill everyone who's done her wrong. Basically, this is like an after-school…
Some Guy Who Kills People
Comic artist, just released from an insane asylum, kills those he feel ruined his life. Entertaining enough comedy-horror. First you need to know it stars Barry Bostwick and Karen Black,…
As Above, So Below
Archaeologist looks for the Philosopher's Stone in forbidden parts of the Paris catacombs, finds something much worse than expected, in this rare non-execrable "found footage" film.. 10% Raiders Or The…
The Handmaid’s Tale [series]
Am I the only one who thinks the most recent couple of seasons of thhis are nothing but oppression porn? It's like, "Last episode, women were treated very very badly.…
“Into The Dark” The Body (2018)
A hitman transporting a body on Halloween is mistaken for a partygoer in a Halloween costume. 20somethings wind up with the body and he wants it back. Truthfully, this movie…