Sorry I Killed You
This movie is pretty sophomoric. Dick jokes (including a huge rubber dildo that appears more than once), insecurity about males being mistaken for being gay, and every imaginable prank that…
Ankle Biters (2021)
I can't believe it. Somebody actually made a "horror comedy" that works watchably well as both. I have never seen a film that is so charming and so grisly at…
The Beyond (2017)
Sort of bombastic, portentious sci-fi wannabe-"epic" pseudodocumentary about humans exploring a wormhole and having their brains transplanted into artificial bodies and finding new solar systems and such. Moderately ok, I…
Proximity
Kind of a fun teen sci-fi thriller about a geeky young JPL scientist who posts a video of an encounter with an extraterrestrial and winds up on the run across…
Beyond the Sky
Surprisingly ok sci-fi special effects thriller, after a slow and cliched start. Filmmaker out to debunk UFO abductions gets more than he expected in the American southwest, but it winds…
Half Lives
Millenials trapped in a bunker after the apocalypse predictably go nuts and argue. A lot.
Bored Games
Quirky, kind of fun English film about three couples living in a backyard bunker after the apocalypse when things get crazy. It was billed as a "horror comedy", which typically…
Ticks (1993)
A strange one. This movie about a team of campers beseiged by giant mutant ticks stars a bunch of unlikely comedy and sitcom actors: Seth Green, Alphonse Ribiero, Peter Scolari…
Starry Eyes
An indie horror film I want very badly to like but just... meh... not quite? Alexandra Essoe stars as a young actress whose chance at a new role starts to…
Misery
This film is pretty good. A lot of Stephen King adaptations are terrible, even ones of good books, but this one about a writer being held captive by a psychotic…
Neighbors (1981)
Tough call here. I have a hard time viewing this movie objectively due to the affection I feel for having seen it in the theaters as a kid. It's not…
Misfit
An obese high school girl who is mercilessly picked on is taken in by a serial killer, shown the ropes, and coached to torture her tormentors. I throw around the…
The Domestic
Decent enough African supernatural thriller about a couple who hire the daughter of their deceased housekeeper who makes weird traditional foods and practices whatever the old tribal religion is, and…
Death On Scenic Drive
Serious swing and a miss here. Beautiful cinematography, and a nice analog synth soundtrack—overall reminischent of "Beyond The Black Rainbow" in those ways, including with lots of saturated lighting ond…
The Darkness Outside
Mediocre low-budget indie thriller about a woman whose daughter disappears from her bedroom although they can still hear her calling for help from right nearby, leading to a difficult-to-follow tale…
It Stains The Sands Red
What a disappointment. This movie starts off like it's going to be a cut above, with a really unique idea that, for about the first half of it, hold up…
Swallowed
Odd movie starts like a horror flick and becomes a neo-noir crime thriller with minor horror elements. Gay couple agree to ferry drugs by swallowing them wrapped in condoms to…
Octogames
Absolutely execrable zero-budget home movie ripoff of "Squid Games". A YouTuber decides he wants to give away his channel, so, he has a competition where people play childrens games to…
The Battery
Hmmmm. HMMMMMMM. Hmmmm. Here we have a seriously flawed gem. This is a "slice of life" zombie movie. Two ex-ballplayers wander around New England trying to survive after a zombie…
Aquaslash
I knew going into this it was going to be bad—as if a horror movie about someone putting razor blades in a waterslide at an amusement park could be anything…
No Solicitors (aka “No Visitors”)
Eric Roberts leads the cast of this Felissa Rose-produced outing, which should be enough to tell you everything. A family of cannibals traps door-to-door salesmen in their basements, harvests their…
Besetment
Woman takes a job at a rural hotel where the proprietor imprisons and tortures her to make her a wife for her slow son. Actually, for a captivity flick, this…
Get Gone
It's a tale as old as time: a rural family is being ordered off their land by the government and aren't taking kindly to it, and they're all pale mutants…
The Odds
There should be a genre for "two people in a torture room" thriller. Occasionally you see these movies with the same theme: somewhere betwenen two and a handful of people…
Portal
Team of ghosthunters accidentally opens a portal to a demonic presence in the basement at a haunte house. Actually has a couple of elements that stand out: a fairly charismatic…
The Axiom
Funny movie. This film certainly crafts its own mythology, while, unfortunately, not being that good. A group going camping in the woods where a man says they will find one…
Blood River
This southern gothic attempted tale of vampires in a small town is sub-USA-Up-All-Nite level amateur hogwash, the kind of thing you figure someone threw together with a home movie camera…
Devil’s Domain
This is insultingly bad. It's stupid and broad enough that it seems for all the world like a children's movie, with rubber costume demons, the thinnest possible plot, paper-thin overplayed…
Devil Seed
Movie about a possessed girl. You know what a movie about a possessed girl is like at this point. This is that. Again.
All Girls Weekend
This is a bad movie. Let's get that out of the way. First off, this film commits one of my least favorite filmmaking sins: spends half its time on just…