Archives: Movie Reviews

Low key thriller about two women and one of their boyfriend on vacation in a cabin when the more high-strung of the two starts getting even more high-strung and having bloody visions. It wasn't terrible.

Fairly unremarkable, vaguely Hollywood-y Supernatural Thriller Product. Rebecca Romijn adopts a young girl whose birth mother, deceased, wants her back.

A sexually frustrated middle-aged salesman who is obsessed with a coworker patronizes prostitutes and then kills them, all the while complaining to the viewer via his video diary.

Gritty enough to be slightly appealing for this sort of thing, but in a world where we already have "Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer", movies like this are kind of unnecessary. The addition of a needless and too-silly-to-believe "twist ending" doesn't help things.

I should have been tipped off by the fact that Tubi called this "Drama, Horror". Perhaps the least interesting movie I've ever seen. A young woman who has apparently joined a cult brings an old friend out to the middle of the desert on a dirtbiking trip to see her "new home", a tent in the middle of nowhere. They talk for about an hour of this 70-minute movie. The friend's apparently dead sister appears momentarily outside the tent with a blurry figure far behind her on the horizon, which is never explained, and then they go to bed, and one, waking up hearing the sound of a motor bike in the middle of the night, goes to see what it is and disappears, and the other, finding the motorbike idling alone in the dark, hops on it in search of her. The End. You gotta be fucking kidding me.…

Low-key but slightly difficult-to-follow, slightly sci-fi-ish drama about a young woman in the suburbs playing with a chemistry set to invent some unspecified thing that is meant to help humanity survive some unspecified disaster, but is mostly about young women living in the suburbs. Seemed likeable but slow moving and not much really happens, plus punctuated by just enough bad acting to detract from decent production values. I really wanted to like it, too.

A rather slow southern gothic about a young man with no discernable peronality who moves to woods haunted by the ghosts of people who have hung themselves from a specific tree. Surprisingly uneventful for a movie that sports quite so many people stumbling onto hanging corpses.

Highly unremarkable supernatural thriller starring Amber Benson as a professor investigating the disappearance of a student with whom she'd been researching a mysterious ancient artifact. Lots of mumbo jumbo leading to entities who you can tell are evil because they talk through a pitch-shifter.

Extremely slow-moving British not-much-of-a-thriller about a woman dealing with the possible onset of dementia and/or some sort of psychotic stalker. The first hour is basically scenes of English country life, occasionally inexplicably interspersed with totally out-of-context, garishly-lit torture porn scenes. The last act, after the first bit of action finally occurs almost an hour into it, is trying to be a bizarre captivity/torture porn flick by it's just not that interesting. Last-minute attempts to introduce a sudden artsy sensibility don't help, either.

Judging from the IMDB reviews I'm in the minority in thinking this (yet another) adaptation of "War Of The Worlds", a British one this time, wasn't all *that* bad. It follows closer to the novel than a lot of adaptations do, and though a lot of the CGI is hopelessly bad, the aliens themselves actually look quite good.

I liked it ok, despite the special effects flubs and the not particularly good acting. And, oh yeah, naming the lead character "Herbert Wells". Come on, man.

But, no, I kind of enjoyed it, weirdly.

I think a lot of reviews want... um... I don't know, I just think they have expectations, or something. This deserves a little better than the 3.2 stars it has on IMDB. I've seen way worse movies get way higher ratings.

Middling supernatural thriller as Emily Blunt and a friend get stranded on a snowy mountain road and begin to see creepy chacters lurking around in the woods as a ghost story slowly emerges. Not terrible, but not especially good. Almost watchable... almost. But, meh, not quite.

As a bonus, this movie uses the "they snap back to someone they were before and the entire interceding scary episode was just a hallucination" trick not just once, but twice.

Execrable "horror" TV movie with about as much depth as a Hallmark card, if Hallmark card had token blood splatters to be "scary". A young boy has telekinesis, because I guess that's a thing that happens, and has a demon living in his closet that occasionally kills people, because, movie? Just awful. Think: the worst Steven King adapations bad.