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Can the statement ‘I literally died laughing’ be true?
Posted inWriting Posted in genresLanguageMikesplaining

Infrequently Asked Questions: Can the statement ‘I literally died laughing’ be true?

"'Literally' is one of the most misused words in the English language. Literally means: exactly as stated. 'I literally rode a horse to get here.' means you saddled a horse and rode it to your destination in real life. 'I literally died laughing' is untrue, because you're still alive." —Siana W., via internet

That's not a question, but I'm going to do my best to answer it anyway.

You're a couple of years behind the times. Dictionaries reflect common language, not the other way around—that's how the meanings of words change over time.

Otherwise "nice" would still have its original English meaning of "foolish or ignorant" (from Latin "Nescire", to be ignorant, also the root of the current but uncommon English word nescience, "ignorance or unknowingness".)

You're in good company, though—Jane Austen mocked the widespread incorrect use of 'nice' to describe things as pleasant in "Northanger…

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Writing » Topical Writing
Using Per-Website Emails & Passwords to Protect Against Data Breaches
Posted inWriting Posted in genresCybersecurityITMikesplaining

Security Through Obscurity: Using Per-Website Emails & Passwords to Protect Against Data Breaches

I got into a conversation today with some web developers, talking about recent articles about a major password breach.

This got me to thinking—with some prompting from shadowy web standards advocate and staunch info-sharing supporter Tantek Çelik—that this would be useful to document.

Unique email addresses and passwords for every website

The basic idea is this: every single website signup gets a unique email address and unique password. This way, if a website is breached and the passwords are leaked, no other accounts are compromised, just that website's.

The trick is to do it in a way that I can remember, or easily derive the usernames and passwords per site, so I don't have to rely on a pain-in-the-posterior password manager, and can log in from anywhere easily.

Obviously I'm not going to give away details of how I specifically do things, but I can…

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Writing » Topical Writing » Mikesplaining (Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions)
What’s the best day of the week to take off if you work a four day, 10-hours-a-day work week?
Posted inWriting Posted in genresMikesplainingWork

Infrequently Asked Questions: What’s the best day of the week to take off if you work a four day, 10-hours-a-day work week?

What’s the best day of the week to take off if you work a four day, 10-hours-a-day work week? -Jeannie F, Marin County, CA

Thursday. Trust me, being self-employed I’ve done a lot of experimenting.

The ideal 3-day workweek is easy: that’s MWTh — Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. It makes Monday easier, because you know you have the next day off. You arrive Wednesday feeling like it’s Monday, except tomorrow is Thursday, which is Friday for you! Then, every week, you get a three day weekend to cap it off! It’s ideal, and I recommend the MWTh work schedule for everybody.

Working a 4-day workweek, especially 4 10-hour days, is more complicated. The entire dynamic changes. The ideal 4-day workweek is MTWF. The best day to take off is Thursday.

You have to think in terms of psychology: three 10 hour workdays in a row is easy to handle, it just…

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Writing » Topical Writing » Mikesplaining (Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions)
Why do people respect George Carlin?
Posted inWriting Posted in genresComedy & SocietyMikesplaining

Infrequently Asked Questions: Why do people respect George Carlin?

I have a serious question, and, dead serious, I’m not deliberately trying to provoke. 
Why do people respect George Carlin? -Brett F., Alberta

Carlin was the observational comic who set the mold for so many of today’s comics. Like this: “Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ” or “In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.” Not the absolutely most brilliant observations ever, nor the funniest. But enough of each for people to really appreciate it. His funny cynical twist was pretty ingenious at times.

“Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.” In a post-Seinfeld world, this kind of off-kilter observation, which you have to think about for a second to get, doesn’t seem as hilarious as it did when nobody had heard anything like it before. And he summed…

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Writing » Topical Writing » Mikesplaining (Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions)
Why are musical notes an octave apart considered to be the same note?
Posted inWriting Posted in genresMikesplainingMusic Theory

Infrequently Asked Questions: Why are musical notes an octave apart considered to be the same note?

Q. Why are musical notes an octave apart considered to be the same note? -Charlotte V., Seattle, WA

Notes an octave apart are the same note because of the mechanics of vibration. Consider a piano string that is hit by a hammer and vibrates 1000 vibrations per second. So in 1/1000th of a second, it does this: Starts at center, then is hit by hammer. Snaps upwards. Hits the upper limit of its vibration, when the tension pulls it back towards the center. Crosses the center but keeps moving because of the momentum. Hits the downward limit of its vibration. Snaps back towards the center. Crosses the center on its way upward again, completing one cycle.

The precise timing of this motion is:
0 Seconds - position center - hit by hammer
1/4000 of a second: hits upper limit of motion
2/4000 of a second: crosses center…

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Writing » Topical Writing » Mikesplaining (Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions)
Do the odds of winning the lottery change if more people play? Is flipping tails more likely after four heads in a row?
Posted inWriting Posted in genresMikesplainingProbability & Statistics

Infrequently Asked Questions: Do the odds of winning the lottery change if more people play? Is flipping tails more likely after four heads in a row?

A.) Do the odds of winning the lottery change if more people play?

B.) What if 5 people each flipped a coin. If the first four all land on heads, the odds of the fifth coming up heads also is much lower, isn't it?

Answers:

A.) Do the odds of winning the lottery change if more people play?

OK. For starters, let's call the lottery what it is: it's a gamble.

For purposes of illustration, we'll consider another gamble: a coin toss.

Before we look at the question of more people betting changing the odds of winning, think about this: if you flip a coin a certain number of times, there's only a certain number of possible outcomes. For instance, if you have three flips, they can come out 8 different ways:

1.) Heads, Heads, Heads
2.) Heads, Heads, Tails
3.) Heads,…

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Writing » Topical Writing » Mikesplaining (Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions)
IAQs—More Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions
Posted inWriting Posted in genresMikesplaining

Knowledg Is Poweh: IAQs—More Answers to Infrequently Asked Questions

1. What's the difference between a sauce and a condiment? - Susan W., Tallahassee, FL

A condiment enhances the flavor of food and is used sparingly. A sauce adds an additional flavor or richness of its own to the dish, and may be used generously.

2. Is there a name for that special credit where at the end of a bunch of TV or movie credits you get one that's like "and WILLIAM P. DINWIDDIE as LORD HALFANDHALF?" - Jim S., San Francisco, CA

I'm glad you asked that, Jim. Frequently as part of the negotiations involved in taking a part in a TV show or movie, an agent will include a stipulation that the actor gets a certain special credit in the opening credits or, in the case of a movie, on the poster. They may strike a deal for a…

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