Unsheltered

If I tell you five college students shelter from a hurricane in an abandoned junkyard and are hunted down by the most thinly-drawn villain in all of horror movie history in an incredibly slow-moving captivity flick, it would be true, but unfortunately, it makes this terribly-written mess of a movie sound much more interesting than it is.

Aside from spending an entire hour going absolutely nowhere, this schizophrenic film can’t decide what it wants to be… it starts as a first-person shooter, becomes an ordinary horror movie, interspersed with a procedural as later media interviews about the crime are randomly cut in, then tries to morph into a neo-noir crime thriller of some sort, as late in the movie some sort of plot twist involving some sort of dark web media show or some fucking thing is suddenly introduced in a tedious expository scene of two new characters people talking in a bar for way too long.

Overall… feels like someone made a tediously slow, uneventful, but happily short captivity flick, and then someone else tried to pad it out to feature length by retroactively fitting some sort of other genre exercise onto it. Yuck.