Jack Goes Home
An impossible=to-understand movie in which Another Culkin plays an asshole—you can tell because everybody calls him "asshole"—goes back to his childhood home following the death of his father and Culkins…
Boarding School
Rather disappointing major swing-and-a-miss. Well acted and well made, starts well, has a decent denouement, and just sags terribly throughout otherwise. I sexually confused adolescent is sent by his parents…
We Are What We Are
Well-acted but very slow... er... I don't know what it is. Horror? Drama? This film starring a pre-"Ozark" Julia Garner revolves around a family of religious zealots who slowly turn…
Maya
A bunch of people wandering in the woods have hallucinatory episodes surrounding a strange untalented actress they encounter out there. Seems like someone shot this on home video with a…
Dead Still
A pretty atrocious horror movie that feels like an 80s TV movie except for the cell phones and the way-over-the-top-gore of the death scenes. A photographer inherits his grandfather's large-formate…
Black Daruma
This piece of video—I have a hard time calling it a movie—lowers the low-effort first person shooter "found footage" conceit to a lower depth than I've seen before, by not…
Lazy Susan
Odd little movie about a woman (played for no reason that's ever explained by a man in drag) who is just unlikeable. And that's really it, she just goes around…
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
Pretty charming action comedy buddy picture starring Nic Cage as a not-entirely-flattering version of himself, sucked into working for the CIA while staying as the houseguest of a rich guy…
Scarred
Worst of the worst. This appears to be a porn movie, except, despite all the talk about boobs, and women walking around with hyperinflated boobs, and women squishing their boobs,…
Meet The Blacks
A pretty amusing entry in the "Purge" movies. A Black family moves to Beverly Hills on purge night, unaware that the father who seems to have struck it rich has…
Sweatshop
Like Charles Bukoswki made a horror movie. A bunch of punk rockers break into a warehouse or something to throw an underground rave. And have all kinds of sleazy sex…
Live Feed
"Hostel", but set in a sleazy sex club in China. And with more guns and gangsters. And a shitty rave soundtrack. And somebody thought this was a good idea.
A Dark Path
Nothing happens for literally the first hour of this hour-and-twenty-minutes monster movie. Two sisters have a car break down on a deserted road (how do they think of these ideas?)…
Bleed (2016)
Lousy. Gorgeous couples move out to the country, decide to go ghost hunting at what's supposed to be a burned out prison but looks nothing like a prison, locals are…
Like A Bat Outta Hell
Mildly interesting flick about a team of filmmakers and a crusty, tough-as-nails australian dude being menaced by a giant humanoid bat in the outback. Australian enough to be somwhat entertaining,…
The Last Light
Well-made but rather disappointing quasi-"thriller" (because it's not thrilling) coasts along like it's going to be interesting, and never gets there. Survivors of an unspecified apocalyptic event cower in the…
The Butcher
Tediously unoriginal and predictable captivity/pursuit flick: kids on a road trip, flat tire, remote farmhouse, psycho local family, you know the drill. Why would anybody bother to make this movie…
Beware
Boy, if I was only going to watch one slasher flick in my life—and one is probably about my lifetime appetite for slasher flicks—this one might be it. Kids on…
Staunton Hill
Psycho hillbilly farm family pursues, tortures, and kills their city-slicker guests in extremely graphically gory ways. George Romero's son obviously learned a few things from his father, and this movie…
Burial Ground Massacre
Native American horror flick about a house party in a house built on top of a burial ground, which ends up stalked by vengeful Native American spirits or somesuch because…
3 Tunnels 2 Hell (aka “Serenity Farm”)
A bad actor from Los Angeles inherits an island in Washington, with the restriction that he must operate a horse riding camp on it. There he and the other bad…
Bluejay (2016)
Promising but ultimately disappointing thriller on the "pursuit" end of the captivity/pursuit flick spectrum. Annoying mountaineer drags a woman he just met onto a grueling hike up Mr Whitney, where…
Silent Panic
Surprisingly decent zero-budget indie drama that starts like it's going to be a crap thriller but slowly and smoothly transitions to something quieter and more thoughtful. Three friends' relationships with…
Blame (2021)
Five kids run out of gas in a snorwstorm and take shelter in an empty building, and things fall apart after one turns up dead. Thriller plays like a horror…
Unsheltered
If I tell you five college students shelter from a hurricane in an abandoned junkyard and are hunted down by the most thinly-drawn villain in all of horror movie history…
Last Night On Earth
An alright thriller. A gorgeous couple leaves the city to await the destruction of the earth by an asteroid in a remote Tennessee backwoods campsite. Things get complicated as other…
End Times
Gorgeous couple wanders through an apocalyptic landscape full of viral outbreak zombies, encountering other gorgeous survivors of questionable intentions in, essentially, a "Walking Dead" episode. Lead actress Jamie Bernadette, who…
Prey (2019)
In one of a million movies named "Prey", a young man on a survival retreat on a deserted island funs afoul of mysterious georgeous women apparently living there nad some…
Feed The Devil
Kids get lost in the Alaskan woods looking for a pot patch and run afoul of... a Native American psychopath? A Native American spirit? Unsure, but it's Native American, and…
Fright Night
Caught this on Tubi about 40 years after having last seen it in the theaters and not remembering a thing about it (In fact, I'm not even sure I saw…