The Last Amityville Movie

I call this the “Reuben Sandwich” of movies.

I was at a deli once, and I looked at a Reuben Sandwich. It was corned beef, sauer kraut, russian dressing, and swiss cheese, on pumpernickel. I was like, “Oh my god, it’s everything I hate in one sandwich. I must try this.” And I liked it!

This movie is like that. Found footage, perhaps the lowest budget movie I’ve ever seen—seriously, I’d be surprised if they spent $150 on this. It seems like a guy shot out an email to a bunch of his friends saying, “You want to be in a movie? Here’s your lines. You can do it from home, I’ll just film us all on a zoom call”.

It’s a “horror comedy” starring hipsters, no lighting design to speak of, features social media, looks like it was shot on a phone. Everything I hate in one movie!

And you know what? I enjoyed it! It’s sincere. It’s like if “Paranormal Activity” wasn’t so pretentious and had the good sense to just be a little silly and have some fun.

Guy sits around the house, things go bump in the night, and the day. His friends explode during a zoom call. A ghost that looks like his wife in stage makeup makeup tries to lure him into a closet, which he deals with matter-of-factly:”I know you’re not my wife, I just talked to her on the phone. And I wouldn’t let my real wife lure me into a closet. Wait, yeah, I probably would. But that’s besides the point.” There’s an unexplained monster.

But, along the way, he has one good idea: what if there’s a sinister reason why horror movies, “Amityville” in particular, spin off into franchises of endless ridiculous sequels that nobody wants? And: can he put a stop to it?

I enjoyed this the way I’d enjoy a friend’s jokey home movie if I was in on the joke. Don’t expect any better than that, though.