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I Can’t Believe It’s Not Poetry!: Ode To A Croaking Man

On a long-ago visit to the hamlet of Acton, MA with my GOAT (that's "Girlfriend Onceupon A Time"—hey, I don't mind if they call me a BOAT), the town was…
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Report On My Weekend

Local Color—Point Reyes, Marin County: Report On My Weekend

(Sent via email to undisclosed parties) My god, if I knew how my little weekend of excursions was going to turn out, I would have made it an event and…
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The Funniest Man In The World

These Are The People In My Neighborhood: The Funniest Man In The World

The other night I talked to my old friend Zigmo Parcheesi, the funniest man in the world. He told me he took his toddler son Max to his first movie.…
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This’ll Show ‘Em: Verse Upon Bank of America Holding My Checks And Angering My Cat

"These checks will be held for two weeks", they said, "because they are very large and from New Jersey" This much is true But I am now home and my…
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I Can’t Believe It’s Not Poetry!: Ode To A Curl-Up Bug

O! pity the poor maligned curl-up! Its form, tho' well designed, inspires many to fear! But many a curl-up has faced a cruel and untimely fate 'neath some shoe or…
Adding A Default Featured Image Or Thumbnail In WordPress

All Thumbs: Adding A Default Featured Image Or Thumbnail In WordPress

On this site, any post without a featured image specifically set (such as this one) displays the default floral 'K' insignia anywhere on the site where a thumbnail is displayed.…
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Serious Gear Geekery: Mosrite/Bakersfield Guitar Picks

I wonder how many of even my guitarist friends will appreciate the above photo. Maybe some of you Seattle musicians, or Ventures fans. I found a set of vintage Mosrite…
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Local Color—Yee Haw: Texas

I'll tell you about Texas. Back in '95, me and my friend Haley went down to his Dad's timeshare in Port Aransas, Texas, a little beach resort town about 45…
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Demo: The Ravine Houses Are Gone (A Song For Hume, And Wacks, And Dan, And You)

May 28, 2007 On May 27, Christopher Hume's parents met up with my friends Dan and Wacks at Bard College, and they went down to the on-campus waterfalls on the…
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Local Color—Manhattan: New York Stories, Which I Only Now Realize Are All About Petty Crimes

Originally posted on my old site. I'd have called this "New York After Dark", but the souvlaki guy story happened in the middle of the afternoon. Back in the '80s…
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Local Color—Seattle: Irene & Sheri

This was originally posted on my old website, Life In A Mikeycosm. Before you read this, I should warn you. This story contains one of the grossest things I've ever…
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Reflective Prose: Day Nights

I gotta do something about them day nights. I was just walking home from the store, bopping down the street at 11 PM, a time that I grew up believing…
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Question of the day: When was the first time you noticed someone cheating at something?

A few years back, my friend Al Katkowski was something of a success with his "Question Of The Day" iphone app and subsequent book. This was a question from the…
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Whom Rods Destroy: Speak To Me Not Of Picard, Nor Janeway — An Irascible Screed On Star Trek Fandom Fundamentals

Look; I'm a Star Trek fan. Don't talk to me about "Picard" or "Janeway" or "Archer" or whoever. Even the movies barely qualify as "Star Trek", and they have the…
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Temporal Moronomy: The Contents Of The Rest Of The World’s Dream Do Not Concern Me (or, Why I Didn’t Turn 40)

I originally wrote this essay shortly before my 40th birthday, after which I posted it on my blog and a number of other places. December, 2008 For the record, I…
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Local Color—San Francisco: Tales From The Sidewalks Of San Francisco

An Afternoon At The Races, Unplanned So, last night I was standing on Mission in South of Market with my phone out, trying to find a nearby hardware store, when…
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Programming tricks used on this site

Under The Hood: Programming tricks used on this site

This is (or, will be) a meta-post listing all posts I've written about the techniques used to create this site.
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Site Design Overview: Featured Images Gallery

Since they're not always clearly displayed on the front page or in every post, for convenience, this is an automated scrape of all original "featured images" (the background or front…
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Administrivia: Site Content, Design, & Technical IAQs

An early viewer asked some questions about the art I use on my site, so I thought I would put together a page of Q&A about the site and the…
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Essay-Length Memoir: Ars Moriendi—Haley’s Epitaph

Disclaimer, 2023 Having come a long way from the days related herein, I thought for a while before reposting this 26-year-old piece of writing, originally posted on my old website.…
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Yiki·dū·sō (A Dream) digital single by Mike Kupietz cover

Digital Single: Yiki·dū·sō (A Dream)

This digital 0", originally hosted on my Bandcamp page, contains a track that sat unfinished on my hard drive for far too long, now finally having had the burrs filed…
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Fragrance Reviews

Review Compendium: Fragrance Reviews

Unbeknownst to anybody except Dan Sonenberg—in fact, practically unbeknownst to even myself—I occasionally write fragrance reviews. These are those. Some people enjoy them. Those of you with the nose can…
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If You Don’t Live It, It Won’t Come Out Your Cone: Adoration Of The City

This is a series of generative art images I am paticularly fond of. Originally these were going to be part of my RobGAN Hitchcock project, but they kind of stand…
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Essay-Length Memoir: “The Light Shone On Me”

Foreword: For some reason, I've always been particularly moved by a sense of loss. It's the sole valuable observation I ever got from a kindly but not particularly effective therapist…
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My Whole Raison D'isaster: About This Site — An Introduction

Hey there! Thanks for visiting my online showcase. I'm Mr. Roarke, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island. But seriously, folks... I've had a personal website for about 20 years, as…
WordPress Custom “Hero Header” Modifications

Used on this site: WordPress Custom “Hero Header” Modifications

This site uses the "Sinatra" free Wordpress theme as its base. Sinatra includes a single "Hero Header" the row of 3 animated featured posts on the home page which changes…
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New Userpic. No Specific Lyrical Reference; Just Very Appropriate General Generative Hitchcockiana, Produced Serendipitously By While Trying To Generate A Psychedelic Portrait Of Eugene Mirman Listening To Shufflmania.

Giving It To A Soft Boy: RobGAN Hitchcock — AI-assisted lyrical illustrations

For a while, I had a Twitter account, @robGANhitchock, where I was posting AI illustrations of Robyn Hitchcock lyrics I created using a Generative Adversarial Network ("GAN"). This was an…
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The Internet Bad Statements (“BS”) Detector

Online Fact-Checking Tool: The Internet Bad Statements (“BS”) Detector

Here's a fairly old repost from my consulting site, where it got no traction whatsoever. The Bad Statements Detector is a specialized search tool designed to aid in online research…