Forgive Yourself For Your Misadventures

Originally posted on my LinkedIn on 11/25/24 @ 11:26 AM.

Someone said this to me a while ago, I wish I could remember who, but it’s helped me deal with a lot of adverse circumstances.

A lot of us are going through hard times right now, and I’m sure a lot of people, like me, are feeling helpless. But there is one thing you can do for yourself pretty easily, even when you can’t seem to change your situation:

You’ve got to forgive yourself for your misadventures.

That one piece of advice has helped me a lot. Because even when you can’t change a negative circumstance, it’s all too easy to internalize it: blame yourself, think you somehow deserve it, Identify with it as if it’s a part of you.

This advice has often helped me reframe things so I don’t take them personally, making it easier to carry on. Something really bad happens? It’s not “me“. It’s not “who I am“. It was a misadventure. Forgive yourself for having gotten into a misadventure, and continue on as you were, as yourself, without making that a part of you. It was an exception, not the rule.

With this attitude, even if you feel like you couldn’t change your circumstances, even if you failed, at least you can carry on without bad circumstances changing you.