Kwitter, the one-user social network

I quit Twitter a while back, and sometimes even just glancing at FB consumes a full day, so I have no outlet for my amusing social-media-worthy passing thoughts, except to just think them privately to myself. And that’s so 20th century.

So this page is my new one-person social network, “Kwitter”, a place to post thoughts, which I call “kwits”. Anyone who I am is invited to register and post.

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Don't attack the monitor for the crimes of the CPU.

5:25 PM · Aug 30, 2024


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I swear, Xeno must be the one leaving his dirty dishes piled up in my kitchen sink. No matter how long it takes me to clean half the dishes, it then takes that long again to clean just half of whatever's left.

6:35 PM · Mar 3, 2024


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Next time I form a band I want to call it "Little Stephen and The Disciples of Dormammu".

9:18 PM · Jan 27, 2024


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GOOD COMMUNICATION, LIGHTNING FAST DELIVERY. A++++++++++++++ SELLER. PERFECT TRANSACTION. WOULD DO BUSINESS AGAIN.
Good to hear on eBay. Not so good to hear in bed.

9:44 PM · Jan 6, 2024


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I've got to stop working so hard on this website.
Last night I dreamed God was a programmer and the entire universe was written in PHP.

3:34 PM · Sep 17, 2023


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It is my hope that if I live a good and virtuous life, then, upon my death, I will be admitted into a place where it will finally be explained to me how it happens that I wake up to find: my air fryer, two different laptops, an external hard drive, an Apple phone, an Apple tablet, and an Amazon tablet, which are mostly not connected to each other and are spread among several building electrical circuits, and all of which were fine last night, all either now turning on and off by themselves or suddenly had all their settings erased, at the same time.
Did my apartment get hit with a tiny EMP? Did someone break in overnight and run through messing with my stuff? I'm in no particular rush to depart this plane, but I have to admit: I'm looking forward to hearing the explanation for this one.
EDIT: Wait. Literally right after I hit 'Publish' on this, my father sent me a text message... with an animated GIF in it. Perhaps it's all a case of Conservation Of ... I dunno... something.

2:11 PM · Sep 5, 2023


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All I really just want to do is play my saxophone.

3:15 PM · Sep 25, 2023


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I'm pulling a reverse Dorian Gray. Hidden away in a closet of my house is a portrait of me which sits there and never gets any older.

3:25 PM · Sep 2, 2023


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I had an idea, I want to record an album of road shanties.

2:11 PM · Aug 30, 2023


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Heard a good one. Two economists were walking down the street and one saw a $20 bill on the sidewalk and pointed it out to the second economist... the second economist says "No, there can't be a $20 bill on the sidewalk, for if it was there, it would have already been picked up by somebody."

1:18 PM · Aug 18, 2023


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Dammit! I have got to stop messing up 'psychotropic' with 'snickerdoodle'.
Well, I'd better go apologize to my guests.

9:47 PM · Aug 13, 2023


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One of the biggest challenges in keeping up with the current national coverage is having to constantly read the name 'Chesebro' without cracking up.

5:15 PM · Aug 10, 2023


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